Talk:2015 Group Project 2: Difference between revisions
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Overall, a very impressive page so far, that could be enhanced with the addition of relevant images and other media. | Overall, a very impressive page so far, that could be enhanced with the addition of relevant images and other media. | ||
--[[User:Z3416054|Z3416054]] ([[User talk:Z3416054|talk]]) 16:18, 13 October 2015 (AEDT) | --[[User:Z3416054|Z3416054]] ([[User talk:Z3416054|talk]]) 16:18, 13 October 2015 (AEDT) | ||
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Great work, it looks like your group has a clear mindset and direction to where your group project is going, even if it is not there yet. Also great introduction! Your entire page's contents were introduced well and simple. However, all Text and no images were included except one image. Not a good look to go through. The information here is good but is also very dense and hard to follow without any images. It would be great if you could break it up a bit with more images, tables, diagrams and hand drawn pictures. This style of writing is very professional and would be perfect for a report or essay; however as a wiki page it is too hard to follow. Breaking up the information into tables and short videos would allow you to guide the reader through your topic. Well done on the use of bullet points make it easy to follow. Only one hand drawn image as well as one table uploaded onto the page contains adequate information explaining them, which is good. | |||
Well done on use of “Glossary” section. It is indeed necessary and important. | |||
There has clearly been a lot of research and work put into this project and that is very commendable and I do appreciate it. However on a whole as I mentioned, there is too much information without having any interactive techniques such as tables, diagrams and etc. One of my suggestions is to make a table for “Prevention” or “Genetics” section or even both. I also suggest adding another subheading for “current research findings” or “Future research” which requires more time and research. Therefore you can include more journal articles in this section .In this section pictures would also be good to help understand and engage readers. | |||
Some sections like “Effect on the Newborn” or “Animal Models” seem to be untouched. I’m assuming you are still in the process of adding content. Please be aware of the deadline. Moreover, in text citation is crucial which are missing in some paragraphs. Citations should be carried through the entire page to know exactly where you have got your information from. Good job on referencing at the end of the page. All research articles seem to be relevant to all sections. | |||
Overall, it is a really good project with the potential to be excellent because of the amount of effort you have put into the research. Keep up the good work, but just edit and add those things I mentioned to the project and finish the sections you need to. Very well done so far and good luck with finishing the project off. |
Revision as of 21:13, 13 October 2015
2015 Projects: Three Person Embryos | Ovarian Hyper-stimulation Syndrome | Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome | Male Infertility | Oncofertility | Preimplantation Genetic Diagnosis | Students
Links to Project Discussion Pages: Discussion 1 | Discussion 2 | Discussion 3 | Discussion 4 | Discussion 5 | Discussion 6
This is the discussion page for your project.
- Use this page to discuss online the project with your group members.
- Paste useful resources here.
- Remember to use your signature button to identify who you are when adding content here.
- The following collapsed tables provide starting points for students during project work, you also have tutorials built into practical classes and practice exercises for individual assessmet items.
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--Z5016784 (talk) 14:42, 13 October 2015 (AEDT) Just regarding the peer reviewing of other group projects, do we have to be assessing all 5 other projects?
--Mark Hill (talk) 11:16, 25 September 2015 (AEST) Hmm still a little thin. There should be some animal model info, histology images, physiological data, drug info, and genetic information.
--Z3374116 (talk) 17:15, 18 August 2015 (AEST) Hello there
--Z3415911 (talk) 16:12, 24 August 2015 (AEST) Hey guys! So I've gone and added a few subheadings that may be useful to start researching. For this weeks assessment we need to choose one each and find 3 articles to go with it etc. So if we all choose one and start researching it, that would be good :)
--Z3415911 (talk) 11:02, 26 August 2015 (AEST) Good article for treatment http://humupd.oxfordjournals.org/content/16/5/459.abstract?etoc
--Z3374116 (talk) 19:20, 26 August 2015 (AEST) Sweet, Thanks for putting up those headings to get things going. Lets all put up related documents by Thursday so we have can discuss things at the Lab this Friday!
--Z3374116 (talk) 19:29, 26 August 2015 (AEST) I've put up some interesting pubmed documents on our main page, Have a read through them (I haven't read them all yet)
Classifications of Ovarian Hyper-stimulation Syndrome
Classification | Symptoms |
---|---|
Mild | Grade 1 - Abdominal distention and discomfort
Grade 2 - Abdominal distention, discomfort with nausea, vomiting and/or diarrhea and ovarian enlargement from 5~12cm |
Moderate | Grade 3 - All features of Mild OHSS with ultrasonographic evidence of ascites |
Severe | Grade 4 - All features of Moderate OHSS with the addition of clinical evidence of ascites and breathing difficulties present
Grade 5 - All of the above symptoms along with a change in the blood volume, increased blood viscosity due to coagulation and diminished renal function |
--Z3374116 (talk) 11:40, 28 August 2015 (AEST) I wont be able to make it to uni today for the lab and the meetup after it. Got to take my cousin to the ER
--Z3374116 (talk) 12:07, 28 August 2015 (AEST) I was thinking to include the risk factors in the 'causative' subheading
--Z3374116 (talk) 13:22, 28 August 2015 (AEST) So basically in the Causative subheading, I was planning 1) Identify the different causes (including primary and secondary risk factors) 2) What difference occurs from a normal cycle (e.g. level of hCG normally)
--Z3415911 (talk) 13:36, 28 August 2015 (AEST) No problem! I hope your cousin is okay. Whoever added a sub heading called: Tests and Diagnosis, there already is the same kind of subheading, Symptoms and Diagnosis so we need to merge the two. It also needs to be in chronological order
--Z3372824 (talk) 13:46, 28 August 2015 (AEST)Hope he gets well! Talking about sections, I'll try and work on Prevention, and get the research summaries done for that section by next week.
--Z3372824 (talk) 14:00, 28 August 2015 (AEST) J and I had a little discussion about how we're going to go about completing this. We can all work on each others sections and collaborate that way. Let's focus on finding research articles, collating them, referencing them i.e. get to the meat of the matter. Once we've done that we can cut to the point and make it more easy-to-read/user-friendly. We also think that our 1 wiki page reference should be the OHSS Wiki page. Also, when writing about your section, always compare/refer to the Controlled Ovarian Stimulation case. Bring those picture/youtube suggestions in!
--Z3374116 (talk) 00:12, 29 August 2015 (AEST) Sweet, thanks for the info. Will be on the lookout for youtube clips and pictures. Is the OHSS wikipage you are referring to https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ovarian_hyperstimulation_syndrome this one?? And I agree on helping each other with respective sections and then cutting it down to the fine details
--Z3415911 (talk) 21:49, 1 September 2015 (AEST) Yes, that's the wiki page :) I have already started taking down information from it in each section so when you see [OHSS Wiki], that's where the information is from. I just don't know how to reference something that is not pubmed yet haha
--Z3415911 (talk) 22:11, 1 September 2015 (AEST) Also guys please note, I have not used any info. from wiki in regards to TREATMENT and PREVENTION as it appears someone is already working on those subheadings and I don't want to interfere, so yea, that info. is still out there for you guys to use.
--Z3415911 (talk) 11:51, 13 September 2015 (AEST) Hey guys, can everyone please send me an email with your full names so I can add you on fb and make group. I feel like we need a better way of communicating. Thanks, z3415911@student.unsw.edu.au.
--Z5016784 (talk) 16:25, 13 October 2015 (AEDT) Hey guys, i am working on a few sections, mark said not to add to the project until the peer assessments are done, so i was thinking of bringing my information to class on Friday so yous can have a look and see if it is useful enough, i will place the link to one article, it has two tables in there that i think can be used, what are your thoughts about them? http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2842872/
Video that J found! http://www.howcast.com/videos/511910-ovarian-hyperstimulation-syndrome-infertility/
Peer Review
This wikipage is very well put together. Your choice of headings, subheadings and tables and images is remarkable, it definitely makes the whole page flow very well. I particularly like the hand-drawn image which does a great job at simplifying the process of the pathogenesis of OHSS.
The introduction very concisely explains the contents of the page and I liked how it was finished off with a statement about the aim of the page. I thought it really brought the introduction together nicely. I can’t say much about the content except that it is very engaging and very well written so well done guys! Keep up the good work!
Some suggestions I have that could improve your page include adding more images. It would be nice to have some graphs to complement the statistical date from the epidemiology. Also, in some of the paragraphs e.g. in the last paragraph of ‘Epidemiology’ there isn’t a citation that accounts for the information at the end of the paragraph so that should be fixed.
This page clearly and efficiently explains the topic of choice. It covers all relevant matters well and the text is descriptive and informative. After reading the page, I felt as though I had a greater understanding of the topic. The subheadings used are good, and are placed appropriately in order - providing an element of cohesiveness between the page and the topic in general. Good use of linking statements – connecting all the elements discussed on the page.
There is however an excessive amount of text used. Although the information is relevant and informative, the page is dense and reading all at once is tiresome. Reducing/sifting through the amount of text on the page – and also adding a great deal more media files will help to break up the denseness of the page. There is only 1 image on the whole page – greater attention needs to be paid to alternative media files and sources to help break up the page. Additional media files will also add to increasing the understanding of readers. The diagram drawn is neat and cited correctly. --Z5015534 (talk) 15:07, 13 October 2015 (AEDT)
This Wiki covers the topic well. The content is very well written and easy to understand. Images and texts are correctly cited and referenced. In some of the sections, eg, ‘Ovulation Induction’, ‘Avoiding hCG during Luteal Phase Support’, more in-text reference will need to be added. It is a great idea to have some bold texts in lines, which highlight the main points of paragraphs, and help readers to understand when skimming. The hand-draw diagram of ‘pathogenesis of OHSS’ is excellent. It is well structured, and easy to understand and memorize. It will be great if more images, diagrams, videos can be added to the other sections. Overall, the project page is very well developed. Some of the sections need to have more work on though. It would nice if more graphs and tables can be added to balance the texts.
So far your wiki page gives a very good coverage of Ovarian Hyper-Stimulation Syndrome. The progression of your subheadings progresses logically from one topic to another. It's good to see that you've included an excellent hand-drawn image which is well suited to the 'pathophysiology' subheading. The amount of textual information you have under each heading is vast and gives a comprehensive description of OHSS. Furthermore, you have an excellent range of sources to support your discussion.
I feel however that asides from your hand-drawn image, your use of images and other source of media is definitely lacking. As is, your page is largely text with little to no breaks, making it quite difficult to read. The use of images would not only help break up the monotony of the text, but also help reinforce some of your ideas. I feel that the inclusion of images in the 'symptoms' and 'complications' subheadings would be suitable.
It may also be worthwhile to include subheadings concerning current research, to inform readers about contemporary developments regarding OHSS. Furthermore, 'future research' could also be another potential subheading and could illuminate potential areas that are beginning to be or could be investigated in coming years.
Overall, a very impressive page so far, that could be enhanced with the addition of relevant images and other media. --Z3416054 (talk) 16:18, 13 October 2015 (AEDT)
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Great work, it looks like your group has a clear mindset and direction to where your group project is going, even if it is not there yet. Also great introduction! Your entire page's contents were introduced well and simple. However, all Text and no images were included except one image. Not a good look to go through. The information here is good but is also very dense and hard to follow without any images. It would be great if you could break it up a bit with more images, tables, diagrams and hand drawn pictures. This style of writing is very professional and would be perfect for a report or essay; however as a wiki page it is too hard to follow. Breaking up the information into tables and short videos would allow you to guide the reader through your topic. Well done on the use of bullet points make it easy to follow. Only one hand drawn image as well as one table uploaded onto the page contains adequate information explaining them, which is good.
Well done on use of “Glossary” section. It is indeed necessary and important.
There has clearly been a lot of research and work put into this project and that is very commendable and I do appreciate it. However on a whole as I mentioned, there is too much information without having any interactive techniques such as tables, diagrams and etc. One of my suggestions is to make a table for “Prevention” or “Genetics” section or even both. I also suggest adding another subheading for “current research findings” or “Future research” which requires more time and research. Therefore you can include more journal articles in this section .In this section pictures would also be good to help understand and engage readers.
Some sections like “Effect on the Newborn” or “Animal Models” seem to be untouched. I’m assuming you are still in the process of adding content. Please be aware of the deadline. Moreover, in text citation is crucial which are missing in some paragraphs. Citations should be carried through the entire page to know exactly where you have got your information from. Good job on referencing at the end of the page. All research articles seem to be relevant to all sections. Overall, it is a really good project with the potential to be excellent because of the amount of effort you have put into the research. Keep up the good work, but just edit and add those things I mentioned to the project and finish the sections you need to. Very well done so far and good luck with finishing the project off.