Talk:2014 Group Project 4
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|Project Analysis 24 Sep|
|Group Assessment Criteria|
- Overall structure is balanced between text and figures/tables.
- Indication that you have made changes in response to peer assessment process.
- Current Models - the bullet list of animals could have been better organised as a table as this simply links to the references. Why was there not a comment here about best models for fetal development.
- There appears to be few figures sourced from external sources for your project.
- 6 of the 15 images are from this website and several from Wikipedia (I had asked for inclusion of only a single image from this source).
- Sevaral images do not clearly relate to fetal period of development.
External Sexual Organs in the Male and Female Z3417753 Figure relates to project topic contains reference, copyright and student template. This figure already exists on the website File:Gray1119.jpg why was it reuploaded, shows insufficient review of online content. Filename is also inaccurate and inappropriate description of figure.
Schematic representation of the various treatment windows and experimental design Z3417753 Figure relates to project topic contains reference, copyright and student template. The file name and description makes no sense, "treatment windows and experimental design"? This should have been better identified and named.
Your group project is of excellent quality, there are just a few minor things to take in to consideration if you wish.
Firstly, well done in creating a timeline in a table format that seperates the key events that occur between male and female gonad development. This is exactly the type of information I wouldve expected to see if I was interested in looking up information about the differences between male and female internally and externally and when these events take place. There is, however, much information about the male in this table and not as much information as there is in the female. You might also like to consider selecting one type of font for your table, just so that it looks a little neater.
Your section of current research and findings looks fantastic, with a lot of text, but sadly not enough images! Good work though with the and drawn image! There are a few hand drawn images on this group project page so well done for that! There are a few parts in the project where an image still needs to be uploaded/formatted but it looks like you are aware of these things with mention of [draw image here] as an example. In this same section, there is a great number of dot points, perhaps try to part of it in paragraphs so that not all the information is simply presented in dot point form. You can tell you have done a lot of research here, so well done.
In the historic finding section, there is a lot of text and only one image (a hand draw one, which is really good!). However, the amount of text is not matched with a visual component such as more images, or a diagram or table. Perhaps increase the amount of visual things in this section so there is appropriate balance-awesome work really!
Great choice of a youtube video! It showed the different stages of gonad development, both at the indifferentiation stage and when the gonads differentiate, into male and female. However, the video is quite long, it is approximately 10 minutes long, would you perhaps consider a shorter video? or trimming the video down? With that being said, I do think it provides a great visual for the key developmental aspects, so great choice there!
The abnormalities section is well researched. The abnormalities are listed from the most common to those that are rare, that a great way of giving the reader a general idea of its frequency in society. There are any abnormalities described in this section, and information is presented equally for both sexes as well as abnormalities that affect both sexes. There is also an excellent hand drawn image from the textbook that is correctly cited and contains the appropriate copyright information as well permission for this image to be reused after 6 months.
One last thing, before submission place all your references in one reference list.
Well done project group 4! I enjoyed reading about your project. All the best!
There is definitely plenty of useful information and your group has clearly put in a lot of effort to do extensive research on the topic. However there are some inconsistencies with formatting and references, which you can easily iron out once you have time for a final edit.
There’s a lot of content on the page and understandably its difficult to organize it in a way that’s meaningful and easy to read. I think there are a few too many subheadings and it becomes a little confusing to follow, for example under the current research, models and findings heading, the female subheading was hard to follow so I think that just needs a brush up. I think it would be a good idea to avoid presenting all the information under this heading just as bullet points. Try to have at least 2-3 current research articles and under them elaborate on what the findings were and what they may imply. I think it would be much more interesting if it was presented that way rather than spread over so many bullet points.
I particularly liked the use of original hand-drawn diagrams with colour helps to make the page more visually appealing and interesting to read. I see there is still work to be done under the current findings section. It would be a good idea to summarise the findings and state their implications on current knowledge under each article. The historical findings section is definitely extremely elaborate but I feel it may be a little too much. I think it’s important to keep in mind the purpose of the assignment and focus more on the actual fetal development and keep information succinct and relevant rather than overloading with information. The Abnormalities section was done extremely well and had a lot of useful information on many different diseases.
Overall a great effort by the group, definitely can see how much effort you have all put in.
This page overall looks really fantastic and highly informative! A brief introduction is lacking at the start of the page- would be nice to briefly introduce the topic of the page and the intended goals for the page to achieve to present to the reader. This section would also nicely unify the contents of the project as a whole. The system development part has very extensive information with a great use of formatting styles- with the use of bullet points and the table format. Perhaps the placement of the image and video could be re-integrated into this section as it seems fairly isolated and doesn’t unify this section greatly. Also a brief description could be added to the image and video to describe what is being presented. The video however is a great idea and a good choice of one too! Very informative and simplifies the information being presented. Current research section looks great so far; few changes to formatting would be beneficial (i.e. with font styles and the general structure of bullet points can be made more visually presentable). There is evidence of extensive research however and the use of subheadings also nicely structures this section. There is an error with one of the uploaded images, which should be corrected however. The information presented within the historic findings section seems highly extensive, although perhaps the formatting could be altered to make it look less bulky and easier to read and understand for the reader. The abnormalities section is greatly done, very informative and looks fantastic, well done! All references should be integrated into the final references section that is already been established.
Great progression on the table in text citation for it is missing. Also in the table for week 5 you have bullet points and for weeks 1-7 you have a different type of bullet point. Try keeping it consistent. The diagram used to illustrate the genital development of different genders is very good and effective. Current research and models section needs more pictures to help aid with the information. Under current models section, the hand drawn image is very good and effective in portraying the overview. Also in the current research and model section, try using more than one reference. Current findings section is currently empty but that’s ok as you still might have 1-2 weeks to finish the project. Historic findings needs more images as it seems like a big bulk of text. However it is very well researched. Abnormalities needs more pictures as it seems like a bulk of text. I suggest obtaining a picture for each abnormality you talk about if possible. This aids the readers’ understanding of that specific abnormality. Also ‘pictures say a thousand words’ so it would be great if you can include pictures. All hand drawn images are great and clear to read and understand. Your references from other sections need to be in the end of the page in a bulk.
The project doesn’t have an introduction yet; however information such as what the genital system is about, the features of the system as well as the difference between the embryonic and fetal stages of development should be mentioned. Not to mention a brief summary of each key subheading such as abnormalities under introduction e.g. any deformations in the fetal stages of genital development can result in to such and such abnormalities which will be addressed. As for system development, I can see how there is dot-point description above the table which summarises the same thing. This structure is a bit confusing for me. I believe if the information was summarised into paragraphs and then tabulated it would make more sense. It’s best to format all that information into that table. The use of a table is a great way for the viewers to differentiate between the two sexes and understand the information more easily. I hope to see the table filled out completely soon. A glossary subheading should also be placed on the project page and have keywords defined to make viewers completely understand the content.
As for current findings, the information again is in dot points which should be paragraphed instead. However, the current findings are indeed interesting and the right amount of information is used to describe them in both sexes. The content under historic findings such as the ‘female genital development’ doesn’t show any historical events. There are no dates which show when something related was discovered. The ‘male genital development’ however shows dates and discoveries. In my opinion, if this information were tabulated rather than paragraphed, it’d be easier for viewers to navigate and understand. There is a good amount of detail under the abnormalities which relates to the key topic and is easy to understand. Overall, the content is relatable to the genital development of the fetus and underlines all the keys points. However, if this information were paragraphed in some areas and mentioned above, it would make the content easier to navigate and comprehend.
In terms of images, there are many places where images are missing such as introduction, system development and current models. I believe there needs to be more images on this page that relate to the content to make it more appealing and understandable to the viewers. The image called ‘File:Flow Diagram of Fetal Development of External Genitalia.pptx’ isn’t permissible and needs to be removed. The use of a hand drawn image on the testes is great, however there is information missing on referencing, student template and copyright laws. On the other hand, there are some images which correctly follow the uploading picture procedures such as the image on the ‘abnormalities of the vagina’; group members should follow this procedure. Captions should be added to each image to address what the images are showing.
There are sections where incite referencing are used, however some sections are void of them such as the ‘introduction’ and ‘system development’. The use of a ‘references’ subheading is good, the same references have been combined into one number showing that the group knows how to make the references set out. However reference 20 and 21 are the same, please fix this. Also there are references under each subheading which should be placed all under one ‘references’ subheading. Overall, this is a good project and if the group makes edits based on the peer-reviews received, this could enhance their project.
The Introduction, Current Models and Current Research section all in dot-point form, which obviously allowed you to more easily, put information on the page. These need to be converted into paragraph form to give the content greater readability and flow.
Presuming the system development is supposed to be the introduction, there should be inclusion of current research, historical research and abnormalities. Without these the reader will not know all the sections of the page after reading the introductory section, which is the intros purpose. The use of bold and capital letters is unneeded. The existence of a table is good though has a bunch of formatting and text problems (capitals, bold, captions, lack of lines). “(around week 4-6) that sexual differentiation occurs in the fetus ” this statement is incorrect since it is an embryo during the week4-6, it becomes a later around week 10. “450px” has not been inserted properly, the sexual differentiation image requires caption and references.
Current Research and Models has in-depth content for undifferentiated and male, though limited information on current female genital research. The headings are repetitive also many without any content, similar content needs to be merged under single headings. In Historic findings the content and wording is good but same trend continues significantly more text on Male development compared to female.
Abnormalities section is great with even attention given to female, male and both. Information is appropriately in-depth and referenced, addressing causes, process and treatment. Addition of 1-2 images in the “both” section is advised, to allow readers to identify clinical features of the diseases. Like the use of drawings especially “Abnormalities of the Uterus and Vagina” and “Anat of Testes”, you should change the caption of the testes drawing from “alt text”.
For improvement; covert of dot-points into paragraphs, expand on female sections of “current research” and “historical research”, fix a few image problems and remove unnecessary bold/capitals/captions.
A great start on tabulating the information about the development of this system. There are references but I don’t see any in-text citations. The image used in this section is really good and relevant. It clearly shows the major processes in the development of the genital system. However, it is a bit pixelated so maybe try resizing the image to a smaller size. Maybe try uploading the image again with a different filename, change it to something more appropriate rather than “Image.jpg”. And also, if possible, try to include it in the table. Good job on embedding a video! I think this is the only group so far that has included a video. It’s a good video about the development, I just wish it had a voice-over explaining what is happening but that’s not really the group’s fault. Nonetheless, great job on the development section.
With the current research section, great use of dot points but a bit excessive. Maybe try to make paragraphs where it is appropriate. It is well-researched, very detailed and very informative. It’s good to see student drawings. Great job on that. I see that an image was not properly uploaded into the page, so just fix that. Good job on referencing. All research articles seem to be relevant to this section but try to incorporate some of the in-text citations of the remaining articles, not just the first three. Overall, really great job on the content of this section. It is evident that the person responsible for this section put a lot of effort in research.
As for historic findings, great job! I know this is probably the hardest of all the four sections in terms of finding information and this section is well-researched, very detailed, and very informative much like the current research section. Maybe try to use some dot points to lessen the bulk of this section. Great drawing included in this section. Try to add more, especially for the males since that is the bulk of this section.
Lastly, for abnormalities, great job on finding lots of abnormalities! Lots of references and each area of this section seems to be well-cited. The content of this section is very concise. All the important information about the disease is included, from the cause to the treatment. Good work! Try to find more images for the other abnormalities. It may be tedious but it will help in visualising the clinical manifestations of each disease. Overall, this group has done their research and did it well. Great job on the table for development and images. Their page is very clean and very organised, particularly the references. Don’t forget to write an introduction for your project’s page.
Just looking at the contents, if feels a little intimidating both in that it is so long as well as the use of caps. You should try and limit both; the use of all caps can be quite annoying in text and the extensive contents list can make people dread reading through your page if it looks like it’s quite long.
An introduction is recommended as it is usually a good starting point to provide the reader as sense of everything the page will cover. The system development is a little messy, but I will heed your note and pay attention to only the table. The table itself is a great idea to lay out all the events happening in the corresponding weeks, making it look neat and concise. However, the use of all caps, bold text, and two different fonts still makes this section look messy. Having both male and female events on the same table makes it look as if there is a chunk of info missing for the female side as well. I would suggest having them in separate tables next to each other, which would eliminate the empty rows in both areas. Both the image and the video (congrats on finding a video! Really good addition to the page) should be captioned.
The current research, models and findings seems well researched as there are a lot of points made. However, it is all presented in bullet points which can be visually unappealing. Some sections look incomplete as well, so an effort needs to be made to finish these areas as well as present them in an appealing manner e.g. in paragraph form with a picture next to it to both describe the text visually and offset the amount of text. The drawing of the testes should be captioned appropriately instead of the ‘alt text’ provided. It should also be enlarged, as its current size isn’t large enough to view any of the labels properly.
Historic findings looks well researched on first glance, but then I saw that only 4 sources were used to reference the section. It looks really bad when only one source is used to reference a large slab of text, which you have done twice. I suggest finding articles that state similar information and using them as references as well, to back up your current information found. Other than that, I suggest possibly formatting your section in a more appealing way; either summarize some areas in dot points, and add a picture.
The abnormalities section is nice and concise, without going into too much detail which is good. Just make sure you explain what it is, how it is formed/how you get it, some statistics and possibly an image to show what it looks like, and that’s all I believe you really need for this section.
Overall, your page is well researched with lots of info. Just make sure it looks visually appealing, is consistent in terms of font and presentation, images are used and captioned correctly, and all references are placed at the bottom of the page.
Firstly, great job on all the contents you guys managed to present, it’s quite detailed. There seems to be no introduction though, and the page jumps straight into explaining genital development. I think if an introduction were added, it would give the whole page better structure and formatting so the reader knows what to expect when they decide if they want to read on. The dot points used for the developmental section allows for easy readability of the contents, however, the use of caps lock and arrows takes away from the overall presentation of the page. I would suggest any text you want to emphasize to make bold or underline the word. I also noticed that there was a note stating the attempt to put all the developmental information into a table, but had issues. I suggest you look at the editing basic page you can search for in the top right hand corner as it outlines a step-by-step guide into making tables etc.
In regards to referencing, there are no in-text citations for the first two subheadings. The sections were they do have citations also have a list of references at the bottom of each section. I would recommend just adding a final list of references at the bottom of the page, as it looks much neater.
I’m impressed with the level of hand-drawn diagrams uploaded. I would also recommend adding captions to the image. For example:
. The “alt text” should be edited to describe the caption of the drawing. This particular image seems to have a broken link though; the “alt text” also appeared in the labeled diagram of the testes. Otherwise, good job on the other images.
The current findings section seems to be untouched, with the exception of some pubmed journal article links, I’m assuming you are still in the process of adding content. The historic findings, however, is extensive and well researched. Good job.
The abnormalities section is done well. There is more than enough abnormalities listed, and they are researched well, I would just suggest adding a few more images for better visualization. Overall, great page, just needs better formatting for the mentioned sections.
Nice amount of content on this page. some work needs to go in reformatting the development and Current model sections as the dot points don't bring some of the information across effectively. Perhaps a table could remedy some parts
The Table included is well done but could use some references integrated.
Referencing is very poor in the development and current research sections. more work needs to be done here in not only obtaining more citations for the content as there is next to none for the amount of content, some reformatting needs to be done so the citations are all listed in the same spot
A few points where information is missing as per your edits. just make sure to remedy this and proof read before submission to add relevent content or remove the text.
Great work so far. More images can't hurt
This project would benefit from having an introduction to prepare the reader for what is to come and summarise everything briefly. The system development part is interesting and clearly there has been a lot of research put into finding the information. I suggest adding pictures or student-drawn diagrams, particularly of the chromosome and the SRY gene location to make it more comprehendible. If you’re not a geneticist, it can be difficult to picture that much detail at an embryonic level.
It is clear you have considered inserting images so it would be important to follow through with that before the final stages of marking. I’m not really sure why you’ve inserted a table here as well since a lot of the information was already covered previously. Maybe use less information in the table. The references at the end of this section should appear at the very end of the wiki page. A lot of other groups have already done that so if you need to copy the formatting, it’s definitely possible. The use of a video on your page is commendable and sets this project above others in that sense. It’s a great idea to have a youtube clip. However, it is 9 minutes long which is a bit long for a student page that is designed to inform students on the genital system on a wholistic scale rather than tackling complicated ideas. Maybe try editing the youtube video so you only use a 30 second or 1minute clip.
The male and female genital development section is clearly presented and the use of bullet points make it easy to follow. However reading the information, it appears that a lot of it I recognised from the lectures. This doesn’t suggest the student explored external embryology sources. On another note, perhaps the lecture on the genital system was very indepth and this student did do research but found all the relevant information had already been covered. None the less, I think it would be advantageous to add a subheading in the section that looks at recent findings. This would broaden the understanding an embryology student can achieve by reading this wiki-page. Also there has been an error uploading an image so that should be fixed.
Although the information is presented well, the bulk of references should be included at the very end of the page. This project is very good but there is still some further research needed, particularly under the current findings subheading. The information presented under the historical findings subheading is quite dense and would benefit from being broken up into a table or simple bullet points. The abnormalities part is excellent and there has clearly been broad research into different embryological resources.
Overall, it is evident that a lot of work has been completed on this project as each section has a decent amount of information and there are images throughout the page. However, the addition of an ‘introduction’ section would help to orient the reader and help students gain an overall understanding of the topic.
The section on ‘system development’ seems to be well-researched, however the formatting of the content in short, one-sentence dot points makes it difficult to read and incongruent, so writing this out in small paragraphs would improve the readability. The capitalization of some words is unnecessary in both the dot points and the table, creating inconsistencies in the formatting. Also, some words are unnecessarily bolded which detracts from the aesthetic appeal of the page. However, the inclusion of a table to summarise the timeline information is an effective tool, although there is much more information provided for the male system than female system. It is really good to see the use of an image as it is relevant and clearly compares the male and female system development side-by side. I also think the video inclusion is fantastic as it would be an effective way to learn for a reader with no previous knowledge, making the page more interactive.
The section on ‘current research, models and findings’ contains lots of relevant information, however this is not referenced in-text and it is thus unclear where the information has been derived from. There also seems to be some unevenness between the depth of information between male and female systems, which some more research can easily remedy. In terms of current findings, the listing of the information in dot points makes it easier to read, however there are some parts italicised and capitalized that are not needed. It is great to see some hand-drawn images as these are simplistic, colourful and effective ways to accompany the text, adding to the page’s appeal. Take care to properly include images, as one of them appears as ‘alt text’ and the link does not show the image itself. Although some references appear under a ‘references’ title in this section others appear as a website links; formatting of these could improve neatness.
The following section on ‘historic findings’ contains evidence of extensive research as it is very detailed and well-written. However, I would consider breaking this part up into smaller sections using dot points as large paragraphs seem tedious to read. The hand-drawn image is a good inclusion, but labelling of it would be effective and adding a couple more would break up the long section visually. Also, there seem to only be in-text citations after long chunks of information; perhaps more sources should be used/consulted.
Lastly, the abnormalities section was comprehensive and detailed and enough information was given on some examples. This was just the right amount of content, as any more would seem excessive. Adding some more images with appropriate captioning is advised also. I liked that the references were listed altogether at the end of the page, making it neat and tidy. Overall, a solid project which just needs some formatting to improve further.
Don’t forget to add an introduction which clearly lists the outcomes that the page hopes to achieve!
The table in the development section is excellent and very clear and informative. I believe you could summarise the text above and add it to table to improve the presentation. There is a very good choice of categories and headings/subheadings. The information presented is excellent. Remember to just correctly cite the information and improve the overall format of this section.
There is an excellent choice of headings and subheadings in the current research section. It is very informative and demonstrates significant scientific research. I do believe that this section could be summarised or the presentation improved? It is a bit wordy- try to summarise more or present the information in paragraphs/a table? (only a suggestion though). The addition of hand-drawn diagrams was excellent and very admirable
The historic findings section was excellent. There was a very good choice of headings/subheadings. The information provided was very informative and demonstrated significant scientific research. However, it is a bit wordy and would be benefited with summarising the content further. Though the content has been referenced correctly, I believe it could be further enhanced with more references to verify the possible points. The addition of pictures would also benefit. Excellent work nevertheless. Very informative section
The abnormalities section was excellent. A very good choice of headings/subheadings and a good variation of abnormalities included. It was referenced and cited correctly. Demonstrated strong scientific research. Maybe improve this section with the addition of more images? Nevertheless, an excellent, clear and informative section.
The project would be easier to follow by having an introduction that give readers an idea about what is going to be covered in the website.
Under the section about system development, it contains lots of information and it is well researched. Using bullet points is good as it is easier to read, however some of them could be join together into a small paragraph which would increase the readability. It is good to see a related video about the development of reproductive system and it explains well about this topic.
It is a great way to explain abnormalities in terms of female, male, and both. Maybe try to put a table at the top to summarise the abnormalities so that it would be easier to follow. More images are needed in this section, just like the one illustrating abnormalities of uterus and vagina.
It is well-researched under historic findings, try to put more related images to make this section more interactive. Also, it would also be good to illustrate the content in this part by a timeline, followed by the explanation of each event.
In terms of referencing, in-text references are missing in the system development, current research and historic findings.
For the image file “Image.jpg”, which is about sexual differentiation, it is a good image that explains the differentiation clearly, however, it would be better to put a description or title below it to make it more relevant to the project. It is good to see some hand-drawn diagram and they match the topic and explain information well. I found it a bit hard to read the labels on the image “labelled drawing of testes.jpeg”, maybe upload the image by scanning rather than taking a photo of it would be better.
It is overall a well-researched project. The next thing to do is to include an introduction, some more in-text references and some related images.
The table of development is good and visual however to make it look clearer the formatting could be slightly changed so that all of the text is in the same style and format. Nice use of video as well as diagrams. Historic findings could benefit from some diagrams, bullet points or subheadings in order to break up the large amount of text in order to make it easier to read. Good list of all the abnormalities with the relevant information. You could put all of the references at the end to make the main text flow better.
There is a lot of information with hardly any pictures or diagrams to support the information. It is currently very not appealing visually. System developments, Current research, and models and findings are all written in dot point form which should be converted in paragraph format before final submission to match the wiki format. I think that you should add an introductory section to tell the readers what the genital system is about, and what its function is in the adult. Also you should definitely put the references together before the final submission date.
The historic finding section is very detailed and well explained; it’s very well done. The abnormalities section was very well done and easy to understand with no punctuation errors etc; the drawing of the uterus/vaginal abnormalities were very easy to understand and self explanatory. I found it really nice that the abnormalities section was further divided up into female / male and those which both genders can have.
As for points to improvement, flow of information and it’s formatting can be improved by moving subheadings to more appropriate places, and also by labelling the pictures and diagrams.The contents at the start of the page is very well sectioned. I love the video; your group wiki page is the only one with a video, and it’s really informative and helpful, especially for visual learners like myself. Overall: VERY well researched and detailed!!
In this review I will attempt to highlight the merits of your project and provide some constructive criticisms in light of the marking criteria.
Great work on system development, a lot of research has been done and the page seems well organised. I suggest using the information you have collected to write up succinct paragraphs, with forget in-text referencing. Furthermore, I find that that the table is a really effective means of summarising everything, you’ve made good progress so far. I also feel that the diagrams and video really support the text and have been appropriately selected. The current research section is a looking good, it’s great that you are exploring the molecular signals driving genital development, with references to FGFs, SHH and BMPs. I think this area needs to be addressed in further depthg. I also suggest including relevant studies, methods and findings. Finally don’t forget to include references!
I see that a significant amount of research has been conducted on the historical understanding of genital system development. Your project provides a particularly interesting insight into the debate on mechanisms of testicular decent. To make this section more interactive and engaging I would suggest the inclusion of historic illustrations and diagrams. There are many images available on both the UNSW embryology database and the UNSW library database. I also suggest that further research of the female genital system. Finally use in text referencing to support your data.
The section final section of your project investigates a number of male and female genital abnormalities. The diagram on abnormalities of the vagina and uterus is particularly interesting and certainly assists my understanding of these abnormalities. I simply suggest that you provide a little more depth on each abnormality. Ensure that you address the following areas are addressed: Cause; Description; Treatments. The page is well structured and incredibly cohesive. The references are well organised. Finally I’m really impressed by the drawing and diagrams. Great work so far! Just make sure you include that introduction in the end and add all the diagrams and images you plan to.
An introduction is recommended as it is usually a good starting point. I suggest starting by giving background information on the anatomy of male and female genital systems. You can then talk about the embryonic period and give a brief summary of how this period is different to fetal period. You can then briefly mention the significant events that occur during fetal period and the sections you are including in your project (including abnormalities and research findings).
The table in the system development is a good summary however it looks a bit messy at this stage. I suggest having two different tables for male and female, avoid using all capital letters and bold texts in the table. I also suggest starting the development section with a brief paragraph on early stages of development. The image included under ‘system development” is a very good summary but it needs to be captioned and referenced. I also recommend re-uploading the image in a smaller size to improve the quality. The use of the video is also very creative. Well done for finding this helpful video!! It would be perfect if you could reference the video and maybe include a few sentences on what it is showing. Overall, the development section is very good with the use of different methods to help in learning. To make this section perfect, you can add some details in paragraphs to explain more on different stages of development.
There is a lot of information under “current models” which shows extensive research, however I find this section hard to follow. Using paragraphs instead of dot points will result in a more coherent flow. Also the studies need to be referenced appropriately; it would be a good idea to include the name and year of the article in the text. The division into “current research” and “current models” is a smart thing to do however in both sections the amount of information provided for male is much more than female therefore more research needs to be done for female. I like how a self-drawn image is used; it would be a good idea to include a description for the image (rather than “alt text”). Also make sure that all the references are listed at the end under one reference subheading instead of having different references for each section. Also, great job for historic findings! This is the most difficult section but you have managed to include detailed information. Similar to current research section however, most of the information found is for the development of male system. Try to add to historic findings on female system if possible.
Abnormalities section includes a significant number of abnormalities with causes and treatment of each abnormality addressed precisely. I also like how you divided this section into female, male and both. Information is well referenced and helpful images are included. Make sure that your images are referenced. If self-drawn images are used, then you can briefly mention that in your text. I would also recommend adding more images for other diseases to illustrate the clinical manifestations of each disease. Overall this group has done an extensive research and the methods used (such as drawings and videos) are very creative and helpful. Well done!
The definite strengths of this page are the ‘Historic Findings’, ‘Current Models and Findings’ and ‘Abnormalities’ sections. They have plenty of detail and are well referenced but could benefit further with the addition of more images (some historic images would really make the ‘Historic Findings’ section even better). The ‘Historic Findings’ section would also be easier to follow if it were broken up (perhaps by using dot points or tables). Some of the uploaded images need captions to help explain them to the audience.
The attempt to tabulate the information in the ‘Development’ section of this page is a good way of presenting the text and makes it easier to understand. It needs to be completed and supported by more images. The inclusion of the video is also a great addition to this page but it does suffer from a lack of explanation. A brief explanation of the video or some time links in your table would make it easier for the audience to understand.
Overall your page has some great detail and it is apparent that a lot of research has been carried out to give plenty of citations to your text. An introduction to your page would be a great asset as it would introduce your page to the audience and give a general overview of what this page is presenting.
Progression of ideas in this group project page is great as concepts are easily understood and conveyed to the reader. Furthermore, genital development for both female and males in the embryonic period are excellent summaries. An introduction would further help introduce the reader to what the page will be discussing and other important information. For improvement, technical problems such as text error and image problem fix-up would make the page more credible.
• The use of the video clearly explains the development of the reproductive system as well written-up images indicate dedication and convey information easily.
• Use of bullet points for current research is easier on the eyes to read and improves structure.
• Headings and short and clear.
• Good amount of references used for the project page.
• Current research finding are good but can still be improved.
• Abnormalities section clearly describes the various defects that can occur in both sexes.
• Table summarises timeline quite well but can be improved.
• Consistency in terms references being placed after paragraphs such as system development. These should be placed in the end.
• More in text citations are needed to show up to date links to current research articles.
• Paragraph and heading errors need to be fixed.
• Some images need to have an image and name and description as this may confuse the reader.
• Historic findings has been stated within the project page should be added as well as current research needs to indicate current research articles and the areas to which they are heading to.
• Grammatical error found and should be fixed.
Overall this is a good project, and it is evident that you all have put a great deal off effort into researching this developmental stage. I enjoy the use of diagrams, especially the diagrams which you have drawn yourself- as it shows that you have a clear understanding of the topic at hand and eases our understanding of a complex topic. Although, I must comment that the first diagram you have used- whilst extremely helpful, is a bit pixelated and I think that if this is changed it will greatly aid the look of your project.
I found your project to be a bit too wordy. I understand that genital development is a complex topic since you have to cover two different methods of development, however I think that the use of tables and dot points will greatly aid the clarity of your work. I think that “System Development” is off to a good start, and once the formatting issues are resolved, the table will be a good way to express the development.
I enjoyed the diagrams in current research models, however I think the presentation of your work overall can be improved. For example try scanning in the picture instead of taking a photo showing the background. Further, the paragraphs are a bit too long to retain interest and I think this section can benefit from shorter dot points or a time line.
Again, the historic findings seems very well researched, however for this purpose it is a little *too* exhaustive. I think it would be a better idea to cut back on so much detail and make it easier to read. Or consider formatting your work in a different manner so as to appeal to the reader.
The abnormalities was well done, and I think its on the right track with the use of subheadings to break up the work. I understand there is a lot to talk about in this section, but the paragraphs are not succinct enough to retain my attention throughout the entire piece.
Overall, the grammar and punctuation is quite well done, I think that the project as a whole needs some cutting down and tightening to make it more easy to read, but off to a good start.
There is no introduction, not having an introduction would mean there is no overview of what this page would be about and what it will discuss in detail. If an introduction could be uploaded maybe consider an image that would be able to sum the introduction up. I appreciate the detail that went into the genital system development with dot points however there is a comment above stating that you are having formatting issues in trying to put the following information into a table. I hope this works out because it would be very effective.
On the down side there is no reference in the first two sections of the page. If you could include in text references, this would be more professional and also allows the audience to refer to the paper if interested. I like the youtube video you added on your page this is definitely a benefit for your page as it will reinforce the information you have been trying to get across, and it would be a break from reading information and some what relaxing -just watching the video while being informed of the genital system.
For the “Current research” section there isn’t much information here, maybe you haven’t had the chance to upload anything in this section. This is definitely a section that needs improvement. Also include some citations and pictures.
Overall this page needs to focus on getting all of the information uploaded and pictures with correct references.
Your group have excellent topics that cover the genital topic extensively. I feel it was a good approach to discuss the background to genital development in the ‘System Development’ section. It sets a good basis for the rest of the page which is focusing on fetal development. There could be some mentioning that the page is primarily focusing on fetal development for viewers who might read it in the future. There is information missing on about femal genital development in the first table, ‘System development’ section. Likewise there are some information missing on male genital development for example in the current findings. I’m sure you guys will add that information as the assignment progresses.
There is a good use of diagrams. The first diagram in the ‘System Development’ maybe needs a description. Under current models there is a diagram which seems not to be working. This can be easily fixed by referencing to the manual on editing as you guys would have already known. Otherwise there are a lot of really good hand drawn diagrams throughout the page which are helpful and show a good knowledge of the concepts. There are some references in the ‘System Development’ section which could be added to the main reference list. Likewise in other sections there are small references lists which could be added to the main reference list for easy reading through of topics. There must be a lot citations for current research, maybe the in text number links can be added if future readers want to know the original source.
The page shows an extensive amount research and it is clear that the group has done a lot of work. There is an element of teaching at a peer with the good diagrams as previously discussed. Research beyond the level of teaching is also evident and this can be further explored with the remaining time left for the assignment. Overall good job guys! Keep going
There are key points relating to the topic shown in table format and bullet points. The table is well used for the timeline of events occurring in both female and male and provides simplicity however it looks incomplete and disorganise. Majority of the table shows embryonic stage and female development looks incomplete. Under the timeline there is a paragraph introducing the genital system development, it does not fit there and does not flow with the information given in the timeline above. There is also diagram placed below it with which is not labelled however it is relevant and good as it provides an overview of how the two different genitals develop.
Current research and model heading has some relevant information such as what signalling and growth factor could affect the system in development as well as showing mouse models being used however there is some irrelevant information that doesn’t clearly show what model is being used such as that under the “Female” heading. It looks like they have just stated the event occurring in the development. There isn’t much research shown in this section.
Historic findings is well researched for male genital system. It’s clear and shows events occurring in chronological order. Appropriate information is used and it’s highly detailed for testicular descent and prostate formation however some information is not citied. A picture or video could be included in this section to make it more understandable and engaging. The female historic finding does not have a time frame into when in history theories of its formation occurred. There is also no subheading like that of male system to make it clear and distinct. Diagram of mullerian duct is good and relevant just needs clearer information about vagina formation and ovary, possibly could include a diagram of either vagina, uterus or ovary formation.
Abnormality section is well written, it is organised appropriately by first discussing male abnormality and then female abnormality and then both. It clearly defines the abnormality and there is a range of picture that relate with the information given used (hand drawn and labelled diagram).
Overall the headings in this project page are related to the objects of the assignment, some good use of drawings and diagram however they need to be better organised (such as the very first diagram) and some are not properly labelled which needs to be fixed. Group has also shown a relevant video of development of reproductive system however it looks out of place on the page needs to be placed somewhere better. The research model section has some key points relating to their topic however some section talks too much of embryonic period which not relevant to the project. More pictures could be added into this section and information could be better organised instead of having list of points where some don’t relate with the point above it. Citation and reference is correctly done however having a list throughout the page and also at the end makes it look disorganised. Having in one section would make it neater and easier for readers to navigate.
--Z3416697 (talk) 01:08, 24 October 2014 (EST) The following are excerpts from this groups Facebook conversations regarding the project- names have been removed. 1. Hey everyone, Did you all want to maybe have just one reference list for our group page ?
sounds great October 8 at 5:11pm · Like
Okay I'll wait for everyone to reply and then I'll try to do it October 8 at 5:24pm · Like · 1
Hey that's sounds good, do whatever you think needs to be and we can alter it for the final if need be I have work now so I'm sorry if I can't answer any questions this evening October 8 at 5:33pm · Like
Alright great, no problem October 8 at 6:47pm · Like
oh also I've added a video so feel free to move it wherever you guys like, I don't think it really matters that much at this point anyway October 8 at 6:49pm · Like
2. Hey, when you have drawn something from an article, do you have to include the copyright information? Say my article is from pubmed, what copyright info do I have to add? Also if I add a pic from an article in the 1800s, which mark said I can since copyright has expired. Do I just say eg. Copyright has expired. Model was illustrated in 1896. That's what I did for mine, if you guys can confirm this or tell me what to do. Thanks
i would just write everything it says on the reference tutorial page mark made becuase that is what he is looking for 4 hrs · Like
Yeah I agree with just include everything to be safe 4 hrs ·
3. Hi does any of you know how to make an image stay in the same section, cause my images move below the content I've written
maybe aline it to the left or right? October 22 at 6:49pm · Like
I tried its just keeps going to way below but I can't make it smaller cause then the quality will be bad hmmm..... October 22 at 6:51pm · Like did you try putting it before the text? October 22 at 6:53pm · Like
yeah October 22 at 7:01pm · Like I am going to try spacing October 22 at 7:01pm · Like
your a wiz with colours, is there a way I can make my headings for the male and female sections to be blue and pink ? October 22 at 7:16pm · Like
https://embryology.med.unsw.edu.au/.../Help:Font_Colour... Help:Font Colour Tutorial - Embryology These are the standard color names supported by most modern browsers. If the color matches the name, your browser supports the color name. EMBRYOLOGY.MED.UNSW.EDU.AU October 22 at 7:23pm · Like · Remove Preview
Yay thank you October 22 at 7:24pm · Like
4. Just to reiterate what Mark told Dinithi, Barbora and I. He has set up a new page called group 9, I'm going to copy and paste the commands from our group there (section by section) to find where the issue is. He believes that it is one of our uploading or commands that has corrupted the system. So please do not upload anything now until I have tried that. I should be able to do this by late afternoon, at the latest. I will let you all know when you can start editing again.
Like Like · Seen by everyone
Okay great thank you October 21 at 2:42pm · Like Thanks Abdo October 21 at 2:50pm · Like Ok, so I have done what Mark said and each section uploads fine, so there is not an issue with any commands. I then tried to upload each section together and that is when there was a database error, so I am assuming maybe the size is too big and the system can't handle it. When I upload everything excluding one section, then it works again. October 21 at 3:08pm · Like
Also, uploading each section, the current research and the abnormalities take a while to upload, whereas the system and the historical do not. But that is because they don't have as many images as the others. October 21 at 3:09pm · Like
Can we tell him I hasn't worked so we can get an extension hahah my eyeball is on fire reading hurts October 21 at 3:10pm · Like
Okay i see, so maybe just tell him what you've done and see what he says. I can't login to the wiki page for some reason :S October 21 at 3:12pm · Like I just want this assessment out of the way, we need to start our presentation this week too October 21 at 3:15pm · Like I am emailing him now, you all should get a copy of that email also. October 21 at 3:18pm · Like Okay thank you, I hope it all just gets fixed asap, we can still gather our info and then just wait till we can upload it all.
--Z3417458 (talk) 14:08, 18 August 2014 (EST) Hi everyone :), We all need to decide on a system for our group asap, does anyone have any suggestions ? I was thinking we could do the Genital or Musculoskeletal ?
--Z3417458 (talk) 21:07, 26 August 2014 (EST) Hey everyone, just wanted to make a note of what each of us was going to research. So as we all discussed last week, I am happy to do part 5. Abnormalities :)
--Z3415716 (talk) 01:05, 27 August 2014 (EST) Thank you all for referencing your articles. I am having some difficulty with referencing 1 of my 3 articles mainly because they are not from Pubmed. I will consult with Mark tomorrow and have my part completely uploaded during the lab. Thanks for your understanding.
--Z3417458 (talk) 14:57, 1 September 2014 (EST) Hey All, just wanted to let you know that there are some really good pictures showing the differentiation between the male and female genital development in the textbooks. So maybe this week we could decide which ones we like and then I can try to draw them. :)
--Z3415716 (talk) 17:27, 2 September 2014 (EST) That sounds really good. If we are not given some time tomorrow during the lab to meet with our group and if you all don't mind we can stay back for 10 minutes or so to have a look at the images you found and if anyone has found any interesting material. See you all tomorrow in the lab.
--Z3417458 (talk) 18:06, 9 September 2014 (EST) Hi, I know we can only use one image from wikipedia so maybe we could use this one ? Or has anyone found any others ? Heres the link -- > http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_differentiation#mediaviewer/File:2915_Sexual_Differentation-02.jpg
--Z3415716 (talk) 14:42, 21 September 2014 (EST) Since my part is historical findings, I have found a few old articles around 50-100+ years old. Below I'm going to past a paragraph about the female genital system development I have composed from information of two articles, one is from the 1950s and the other is 1890s. My only concern is what I have written doubles up with the system development part of this assignment so I have not uploaded onto the page but if you guys think it's fine for historical finding then I will, if not we can add that into system development and the timeline. I am still searching for historical teachings and images that can be used in this assignment.
The mullerian (paramesonephric) ducts, found laterally to the wolffian ducts, are the original structures of the female reproductive system. Female sexual organs (the fallopian tubes, uterus and vagina) originate from the mullerian ducts, which differentiates within the foetal developmental phase. Initially the foetus contains two mullerian ducts, however by the ninth week fusion of the lower portion of the ducts is complete, creating the fundamental structure of the uterus and the vagina, however the these two organs are not continuous with vagina being solid. The non-fused upper part of the ducts emerge into the fallopian tubes. It is not until the fourth and fifth month of development that the uterus becomes continuous with the vagina, with both organs developing a hollow lumen. The muscular layers of the uterus is also present by this stage. The cervix begins to form within the fifth month, between the continuous vagina and uterus. Also within the same month, the formation of the hymen occurs. The hymen is described as a pouting vertical slit and represents the remains of the mullerian eminence
Also, I found this article that might be useful if you havent already found it - it goes under historic findings - it is from 1942!!
Schonfeld WABeebe GW Normal growth and variation in the male genitalia from birth to maturity. J Urol 1942;8759- 777
--Z3417458 (talk) 21:59, 2 October 2014 (EST) Hey, hope your enjoying your break too. Thats great :). If you any of you guys come across an image that we could use for the first page, post in on here so we can decide if we want to use it. :)
--Z3415716 (talk) 16:16, 5 October 2014 (EST) Thank you, I'm doing the historical findings and I will have a look into that article. Thanks again. I have just redrawn an image from one of my articles about the Mullerian ducts and forming the female genital system. I will try and upload it following the steps Mark gave to us in the first lab so once it is up please let me know if you guys like it or not. Thanks
--Z3415716 (talk) 16:57, 5 October 2014 (EST) Also another thing, please let me know if I am being too specific in my part (Historical findings). I still have more to add on other areas of genital development, so if what I am doing is fine then I will continue this way, if not please let me know so I can change what I have. Thanks again.
--Z3417458 (talk) 16:15, 6 October 2014 (EST) Hey Everyone, I've found a video we could use on our page, the background music is a bit annoying but the drawings are really good, detailed and clear heres a link. Let me know if any of you have found some too. :) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MureNA-RSZM
- Great progress on the table. Maybe once you've managed to format everything you need into it, don't forget to reference bits you need to
- I liked the diagram you used to show the different pathways of genital development for the different genders. It's just a bit blurry so maybe think of re-uploading a clearer image or of making the image on your page a little smaller
- Good use of dot points under the "current research" section but maybe think of connecting the separate points a bit more as it seems a bit disjointed and difficult to follow. Maybe think of having your write-up as normal and using points in particular parts that show a sequence of events, or separate components of something
- Look to getting more references for the current research and models section because you're just using 1 at the moment
- Proofread. I know maybe you guys are still at the collation of information stage, but I find it's easier to get it right as you go along rather than coming back to it later
- Re-phrase some bits like: female and male fetuses’ external genitalia --> The external genitalia of the female and male fetus
- Great drawn images! They're all so clear, well thought out and identify all relevant components of what you're trying to show all throughout your page
- I liked the detail of your "historical findings" section