Talk:2014 Group Project 6
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|Project Analysis 24 Sep|
|Group Assessment Criteria|
- Some of the endocrine glands fetal development have been covered well.
- In the figures there seems to be too much embryonic development for some organs.
- There is not consistent explanation of how the figure related to fetal development, often not identifying species and mis identifying embryonic for fetal.
- You have responded well to the peer assessment comments of your project page.
endodermal and mesodermal contribution to thyroid gland Z3414648 Figure relates to embryonic thyroid topic and contains reference, copyright and student template. While embryonic development is required to understand what has gone before, you have not included much in fetal development. There is no explanation of the molecular factors shown in the figure.
position of the parathyroid in the embryo Z3418837 Figure relates to embryonic parathyroid topic and contains reference, copyright and student template. While embryonic development is required to understand what has gone before, you have not included much in fetal development of this gland and its function in the fetus.
active parathyroid hormone and its chemical structure. Z3418837 Figure relates to parathyroid hormone topic and contains reference, copyright and student template. It is a useful methodology figure, there should have been associated information as to how this is used to understand fetal parathyroid development.
thymic epithelial cell development and function. Z3418837 Figure relates to embryonic thymus development and contains reference, copyright and student template. Species should be identified and this relates to embryonic not fetal development, mouse E11.5 is about embryonic Carnegie stage 14. None of the molecular factors are identified or described further.
ratio of alpha & beta cells Z3418837 Figure relates to project topic pancreas development and contains reference, copyright and student template. Your legend says that it is fetal development, but all the data is mouse neonatal alpha and beta cell ration development in the pancreas. You also do not relate this back to human pancreas timeline.
Z3418702 fetal adrenal gland Figure relates to project topic contains reference, copyright and student template. This image is very good as it shows different views of fetal adrenal development. There should have been additional information with the figure in addition to the original legend. The image file though should have been adjusted (reduced) in size before uploading (2,054 × 2,259, 7.7 MB).
Cushing’s syndrome Z3418702 Figure relates to project topic of adrenal abnormality and contains reference, copyright and student template. Once again, there should is an opportunity to have something associated with the figure that explains its relationship to fetal development. This is at least more project related than the placenta accreta image.
fetal mouse ovary morphogenesis Z3418702 Student drawn image, figure relates to project topic contains reference, copyright and student template. I wonder why you have hand drawn this image as there are many good images available and you have not included any detail related to hormonal function in the fetus? There is not any specific timing included to show a fetal event. Minor, the figure is not very clear and should have been adjusted for brightness and contrast before uploading.
testis and ovary during gestation Z3418702 Student drawn image, figure relates to project topic contains reference, copyright and student template. I wonder why you have hand drawn tis image as there are many good images available and you have not included any detail related to hormonal function in the fetus? Minor, the figure is not very clear and should have been adjusted for brightness and contrast before uploading.
mature human placenta Z3418702 Figure relates to project topic contains reference, copyright and student template. This cartoon shows the structure of the placenta, but a research image showing hormone expression would have been closer to the project topic. You could have put additional information with the file related to hormonal function.
placenta accreta. Z3418702 Figure relates to placenta abnormality and contains reference, copyright and student template. Once again, there should have been something associated with the figure that explains its relationship to fetal development. Not clear to me why this figure was included in your project.
An introduction section should be added to the beginning of this page as it is highly useful to unify the project as a whole and so as to introduce the topics to be discussed to the reader. A basic overview of what particular endocrine organs are to be presented as well as associated abnormalities may need to be mentioned briefly. The individual subheadings focusing on a particular endocrine organ is a nice layout, which is then further, subdivided into the timeline, abnormalities and recent findings sections. This is a well thought out layout and seems to work well however there is a lack of unison between different sections and this chosen layout- perhaps more communication is needed between team members. The structure of the timeline is also particularly well done in these sections and nicely introduces each organs developmental stages. The use of extensive images is also great to see, the brief description of each image/ figure is also highly relevant. Perhaps a few hand drawn images can also be added- as this would be beneficial for student learning as it is simple and easier way to present a process of development. The written information is nicely presented also, there doesn't seem to be too much muddled information, it is concise and informative. Historic findings section doesn't seem to have been completed so perhaps could be integrated into each individual subheading or an overall small section briefly touching on this topic also. So overall I believe the cohesiveness and flow of the project seems to lacking, however there is evidence of extensive research and development of ideas very clearly. The references of each section also need to be unified under a single subheading at the end of the project.
Great work, it looks like your group has a clear mindset and direction to where your group project is going, even if it is not there yet. One of the images next to the timeline section was too small to be view without actually opening up the actual image. There are a few images on your page, and also a few tables, perhaps uploading a few more images that correspond to the text.
Under the heading of Pineal gland, there is a sub-section labelled 'timeline', however there are only three points under this and no time course, or time frame included. The timeline needs to be further developed.
There is not information for Abnormalities. Only an uncompleted table and references exist. This information needs to be filled out the sooner the better. There seems to be a sub-section about abnormalities for each endocrine organ, but this does not contain much information-see Pineal gland and Hypothalamus sections. Perhaps your group would consider, just having one section in your project for all the abnormalities associated with the endocrine system.
There are several reference lists within your group project page that need to be put together to create just one reference list, I understand why this is at the moment, just remember to change before your final group submission.
Introduction is missing in the project. It would be great to include the functions of endocrine system and the contents that will be covered including system development, abnormalities, current research, etc.
There is a lot to cover in endocrine system, it is a great way to separate timeline and recent findings under each individual organ. Using table to illustrate the function of hormone is good, however, I think it would be better to have a summary of hormone in a table form at the top/the end of all individual organs. The parathyroid gland and pancreas are well-researched with the use of images. More information has to be included in other sections.
More work has to be done on abnormalities. Actually, they could be separated under each organ, just like current findings. It would also be good to see historic findings under each organ.
In terms of referencing, there is no in-text reference and the reference list at the bottom is empty at this moment. This project overall has a good structure, but more information and images are needed.
An introduction has not yet been added, however when doing so aim to mention the gist of the project and the manner in which is has been divided so that the reader/marker can effectively understand what is in this project. The wikipage is separated into the numerous endocrine organs, which is great as a future student can easily navigate to the organ of interest.
As it is only a draft copy it is assumed that improvement and adding of information will take place leading to the submission of the final as there are subheadings such as “Recent findings” that have been left blank. With what is currently present, each organ contains well researched information. In the beginning two organs, the pineal gland and hypothalamus, there is a subheading for abnormalities, however there is also a section towards the end of the wikipage solely for abnormalities, so refrain from doubling up on the information and either place all the abnormalities in one section or separate the malformations in terms of their respective structure. References are also seen at the end of each section or subsection and no in-text citation has been used yet, so it might be easier to cite the dot points or information as you go so you can remember where you got that from instead of trying to find that piece in the numerous research articles you have. Once that has been done, it will be best to relocate all the references at the end of the page, where you have already made the heading.
The structure is consistent throughout the page with each organ having a timeline and most containing an image and a table. This makes the project appealing and easy to read and understand. All the images uploaded contain comprehensive information and thus I am able to decipher the image and as a result enriches the learning aims of this assignment. The creation of a timeline for each organ is clever as each exhibits its own developmental process. The separation into many smaller timelines allows for specific events to be included that would otherwise overload a collective timeline. The setup of a table under the organisation of hormone, cells and function further simplifies an extremely complicated developmental system. As a student learning about the endocrine system I would be relieved to discover tables and content of this standard and structure.
The introduction section is blank so I suggest you start on it as soon as possible. I like how you have organised the sections in terms of each gland. Pineal gland section requires in text citations and more information with the aid of an image. Spelling error for abnormalities. Hypothalamus section needs more information and images. Good idea to use a table but it is incomplete. In text citations are needed throughout. Pituitary gland section only has the timeline and references. It needs much more information and images with in text citations. Thyroid section is a bit better but still is missing little information. Parathyroid gland has a very good image and the information is well presented. Once again in text citations are needed. Thymus section only has little information so work more on this. Pancreas by far is a much better section compared to others as it consists of an image, table and a timeline. In text citation are missing. Adrenal gland section is missing a little information and an image that’s all. Also in text citation is missing. Gonad development section is well presented just add images to it. Placenta section just has references. You need to start researching information on this. Associated abnormalities section just has an incomplete table. The page could use a bit more uniformity. Throughout the page, two different spellings are used for fetal (fetal and foetal). Try keeping the context consistent. Overall I suggest you start researching more for your project as A LOT of work may be needed to be done. In text citation is crucial as you have noticed by my constant repetition for it. Recent findings and historic sections are missing. I suggest researching on pubmed under “(gland name) historic/research findings”. All the references will look better and more professional if it was in the end of the page in a bulk. There are some really good information and images on your page. If possible try adding hand drawn images too. You may only have 1-2 weeks to complete this project but I believe you can do it so good luck!
This project would greatly benefit from an introduction, to present the contents of the project. The content is broken up into individual organs, of all the systems endocrine definitely one of the most varied in location so this approach does have some merit for initial data gathering. It does present the problem for viewers in navigation and resulting in continual repletion of timelines. Each organ is subdivided into timeline, introduction, structure, function, development and abnormalities. The content presented is solid and obviously well referenced. Placenta section should be added, because of its significant endocrine organ during fetal development. The references are mostly placed at the bottom of each organs section, these should be moved to bottom of the whole project in combination with in text citation. This will make the body of the project less cluttered and more fluid.
The table for hypothalamus hormones and associated abnormalities are mostly incomplete with “Example” filling many of the boxes. I would advise completion of hypothalamus hormone table and removal of associated abnormalities. In total there were only 3 images, addition of 2+ more images would help readers visualize the developmental organs. With at least one image per organ and preferably an additional image for an abnormality. Sufficient content is presented in this project though significant formatting changes are needed to create a completed project, additional images would be preferable.
Overall, this is quite a good project considering the complexity of the system. I think that generally, this project would benefit from some restructuring, so as to improve the cohesiveness of your work. I think that an introduction is a good idea to organize your ideas and give the reader a good background when trying to understand some of the more difficult concepts. I think that the choice of sub headings should be advised. It is interesting that you have chosen to deviate from the given subheadings, and I understand for your system that that may be necessary- however I think that some structure or regular subheadings for each part may be a bit easier to control. Also I think an overall timeline is always a great idea as it provides a visual representation and puts things into perspective. I also think that some areas could use a bit more research, for example a large part of the pineal gland and hypothalamus appears to be missing and there are kind of “insert text here” sections- which I’m sure you’ll work on by the submission date. I also think its important to remember that your referencing needs to be carefully done and consistent. Currently it seems quite poorly organized, and I think overall could use with a few more resources for every section. I think because you are already deviating from the normal structure of things, it would be a good idea to leave your references until last, just so your work isn’t broken up even further. The abnormalities section is severely lacking- the table is a good idea, but make sure you fill it! Overall a good start, some places need some serious content others just need a tidy up.
Great job on doing the endocrine system! There are lots of content for each organ of this system, which is good. I can see that this system was broken down into organs and allocated to different members. The only problem I see with this format is that presentation could be incoherent. I suggest try to follow the outline Dr. Hill gave us like development, current findings, etc. and just break each section into sub-sections for each organ. If that’s too much, then maybe just a single timeline of the development of the whole system. Also try to have a uniform layout for the tables about the hormones secreted by each gland.
There aren’t many images used in the page so maybe try to add more images. They really help with getting the readers to understand the information. In terms of referencing and citations, good job on choosing the research articles. All of them seem to be relevant to the the project. Don’t forget to use in-text citations. Not only is it important but it will make the page look a lot cleaner. Also, try to get all the references into one bulk at the bottom of the page. Overall, there aren’t a lot of problems in terms of the content but mainly about organising the page, making it coherent, and cleaning it up. I think the thyroid, parathyroid, pancreas, and adrenal sections were remarkable. Well done!
Group Project 6 – Endocrine Development
An introduction could be very useful to summarise what the page is going to discuss. Sections 1.2-1.11 could all be subheadings under the main heading ‘System Development’, and then each of these subheading could be further divided into smaller subheadings with timeline, introduction detailing structure/ function of the endocrine organ. It is however very well done how the headings of each organ are then further subdivided into ‘abnormalities’, ‘research findings’ and ‘timeline’. However, the fact that each section has its own references and is subdivided as such, shows that even though the page may appear more ordered, there appears to be little communication between group members at this stage. So perhaps a goal could be to make the page look like one flowing work piece as opposed to sections that each person has done.
I think the content is very well researched and I like the way each organ of the endocrine system is discussed, as all are important in fetal development. The use of images is appropriate and very well done as they are referenced correctly and when you click on an image it takes you to a new page showing the student image template, copyright information as well as extra information regarding the image. There are no student-drawn images however, so perhaps it could be possible to draw a flow chart perhaps of gonadal fetal development. The use of tables is also done very well and is frequent throughout the page, with some being used to illustrate the anatomical development of certain organs, for example, the adrenal gland and pancreas. The graphs are also useful in portraying information from research findings.
The project page is missing information regarding historic findings, and I think that if this page is going to have a main heading for Abnormalities, then the group should put all their information regarding abnormalities under this section. Although it is not an endocrine organ that grows within the developing foetus, but is an important part of the mother, there is not much information on the page regarding the placenta. This section needs to be completed as the placenta is an important source of hormones and acts as an endocrine organ during the pregnancy, sustaining the foetus.
It is good that there are many references, indicating thorough research into the endocrine system with each organ heading have its own sources, however I think these references need to be ordered better. The actual referencing is done correctly, however in-text referencing is absent, so it may be best to fix this. Most images are referenced correctly as well.
Overall, keep up the good work, but just edit the page to make it look neater and finish the sections you need to.
At first glance, a lot of sections seem to be incomplete. On second glance, I’ve noticed that you have added all the headings used by other groups (timeline, current findings, abnormalities) as subheadings for your own project, which I think it a really smart idea. Because you have so many glands that need to be covered, writing these sections separately can be confusing with the information quickly becoming muddled up. Doing it this way eliminates that confusion.
Make sure the use of tables is appropriate, using a table for one row of info is kind of pointless (pineal gland). The timelines used should also start with the week number, otherwise it can be quite confusing trying to work out the time (e.g. try not to say times such as ‘by the second trimester’). The information presented was concise and to the point, no long-winded explanations or slabs of text which was good. The images used were relevant and captioned.
Concerning the work completed, overall it was done well. A lot more work still needs to be completed however. References should also be made in text. If you are unsure how to do this, just go into edit mode in another group’s project and see how they have done it, instead of listing all the references at the bottom of the corresponding section. Make sure all the references are also presented at the bottom of the page, not separated into sections. It would also be nice if more images are used, if not one image for every gland then at least one for every second gland mentioned (it just needs more images).
There seems to be no introduction on the page, don’t forget to add content to this section before the final submission. The overall page looks disjointed by the choice of sub-headings. I think an overall timeline is needed to know which glands/organs develop when and originate from where. It would look much neater and would be easier to follow.
The parathyroid gland and pancreas seems to be the only sections that are properly completed. Both sections have good use of images and the tables provide easy readability. The images are all properly cited, good job.
The overall referencing of the page is all over the place and lacks in-text citations. I suggest you go through the contents and add these where necessary. If you are unsure how to do this, just look at the handout Mark gave out in week 2 for further reference. Or, alternatively you could look at some of the other project pages in edit mode. I would also suggest you leave all the references to the end of the page by simply putting </references> at the bottom of the page, as it looks neater to have them all in one place, rather than at the bottom of each sub-heading.
The abnormalities section is lacking content and there is only 2 diseases listed, with no description.
Overall, the page has good content, just needs to be edited to put in-text referencing. Some sections need contents such as the placenta and adding images to the page will also improve its presentation.
Introduction needs to have content in it. Start with a quick orientation to the system that you are presenting with some key points on development and structures.
Tables in Pineal gland section needs some work, adding informationn and keeping them cited.
References need to be collated in one spot. look at other groups content and copy their style and use it to declutter your page.
The images that you are using are good, but more need to be added to areas that are lacking them.
Still a lot of text indicating work that needs to be done. I'm sure you will get around to fixing this, but just make sure to proof read your own content to not miss any. Same work to be done rewording some of the subheading texts. try to avoid rhetorical questions like in the timelines
There are timelines scattered throughout the project page. Moving them all to one section near the top, perhaps under the introduction would help to give an overview of all the content
The section formatting is very good with a nice amount of information. Only thing lacking there is some more in text citations.
Great work so far
So far you have made a good start. The introduction is a really important part of the project so it’s important that you get that down. The pineal gland part has made a good start but it would be good if some more hormones could be added. I think it would be good maybe if you all combined all of your times line and put them at the top of the page. You could maybe do this in a table form, but it’s certainly something that would make the project more succinct. Also instead of having references spread all over the page it would be a good idea to put the all of them at the page to make the page look more neat and tidy.
The hypothalamus part also needs to add extra information on the hormone part and add their illustration. I think it may be a good idea to add a student image because this makes the page more interesting and people looking at the page will be instantly attracted to this. Something that is really important and goes for the whole page is that you need to do in text referencing, as having the references at the end of the writing is tough because we don’t know which parts came from where.
Its good that there is recent findings in the hypothalamus part but I think this probably highlights the biggest issue with your project, being that It probably doesn’t link with all parts that well. I think it would be good if you could link all parts of the endocrine system together to make it easier to understand. For example, if you put the recent findings as a whole new part then everyone puts their recent findings in there it will make it easier to understand and look more collaborative. Also there is an imbalance in written information to pictures which tips in favor of the information. While it’s great to have a lot of information it becomes a bit boring just reading all the time so I think adding more images, particularly student drawn images would be something that would definitely improve the page.
Overall it has been a good start but the main points that need to be focused on are to finish off the information, make sure you correctly reference with in text citations and putting the references at the end of the page, and adding more images to make it more interesting. Good luck with the rest of the project.
There is no introduction! You should definitely add one! The graph in the pineal gland only has one rows; I suppose you are planning on adding more rows and hormones secreted by the pineal gland? If not, maybe just scrap the graph in general cause there’s really not much point. The graph in the hypothalamus section doesn’t have any examples yet, I presume that you’ll be adding stuff soon? The overall project having been divided according to the each endocrine organs is really nice. Hardly any work has been done yet on the pituitary gland yet, you might want to get started. Beautiful work on the thyroid, parathyroid and pancreas; easy to understand the paragraphs, and they are visually aided with pictures. For the development of the adrenal glands, and the testis and ovaries, I think you should find a picture. Historic findings, placental development and abnormalities are basically non-existent, which are vital components to this project. Overall, the project is very very informative and very well done! The page has good content, just add the in-text referencing, and maybe try to improve the aesthetics to make it more appealing to your readers. Good luck group 6!
The page is set out really well especially since the endocrine development covers so many organs. It’s a nice clear and concise way of structuring the page. Each particular organ is addressed really well. There is good consistency with each one on the page that is great. The page contains a sufficient about of content and detail in the info for each section of an organ addressed. It is good to see the use of tables and some dot point formatting which always helps to keep the content clear. There are parts in each section that are missing info these include the abnormalities and tables. The use of images with captions containing well detailed descriptions are also constant under each section. Some suggestions to consider include adding more info to the abnormalities would be great. Focusing on discussing what each abnormality is, how it’s contracted, statistics and then treatment. Throughout the whole page in text citations have not been used at all which should be included, especially when research studies are mentioned. A way to assist with this is to use the following format; for pubmed  and then for other references  . Then after those are inserted, add an additional referencing heading and under it write
- insert source
Overall the page does not need too many changes, just a few adjustments mostly with formatting and references. Then some sections need a little bit more info to be completed. An introduction would also be a great way to provide an overview of the content that will be covered since there is a lot discussed. So far it can be seen that a great deal of research has been conducted. It’s also understandable that not all sections are completed just yet as this is a pretty lengthy system. Try to also incorporate some graphs, drawings and even video’s, they are a great visual aids. Keep up the good and the page will be really great, good luck :).
Just must say, this must be one of the hardest topics to cover! Excellent work overall and continue to work hard in completing and finalising this page. But please don’t forget to add an introduction which clearly lists the outcomes that the page will hope to address
I really believe that this page would greatly benefit by re-structuring the entire layout by the headings suggested to us- ie. Development timeline, recent findings, current research and abnormalities. Seems a bit disjointed and is hard to follow.
Due to the manner in which you guys have subdivided the sections via organs, it is hard to comment and critique via the headings suggested. Some organs have been excellently covered (pancreas, thyroid, parathyroid), however, some organs do need a bit more development (eg. Pineal gland). Also, due to the way you guys have decided to approach this page, the writing styles and presentation of information does have notable differences amongst the oragans.
Overall, there is an excellent choice of headings and subheadings though. There is also excellent and correct citing in most of the sections. However, this page could be greatly benefited by re-structuring the entire page to follow the suggested headings. I really believe that the information and research included in this (hard) topic is excellent and demonstrates significant scientific research, however, the overall structure makes it hard to follow and understand! I believe re-structuring will address a lot of the issues mentioned. But again, excellent work so far in this very hard topic!
In this review I intend to highlight the merits of your project and suggest some areas for improvement in light of the marking criterial provided.
I believe that an organ-by-organ approach to this section is great. This really helps organise the information. This layout also makes the page easy to navigate allowing students to directly refer to the section that they want to learn about. However by doing so I think you may have neglected some of the areas.
Each endocrine organ has a great introduction describing the structural features and nature of the organ. I suggest including an image or a hand-drawn diagram of each gland and location, as this would really aid understanding The time line is a great way to summaries the major stages in development, I feel that this section has been completed with sufficient research and detail.
The section on abnormalities needs to be completed, even if only one abnormality is addressed make sure you include information on the following areas. Epidemiology; Description; Cause and Treatment. Furthermore ensure that the section on current research and historical findings is researched and addressed addressed.
I feel that your project is incredibly cohesive and attempts to provide a through summary of all the main endocrine organs. However a number of sections are yet to be completed. You have a great template right now. If all these areas are completed the project will be a success. In addition; I suggest placing all the references at the end of your project page, under one heading. Good Luck!
The endocrine system is made up of different glands and there is so much information that could be provided regarding the the anatomy and development of each gland so very well done for working on the difficult system! I like how you have divided the page into different glands; I can imagine having the four major headings (development, historic findings, current research and abnormalities) and then subdividing it into different organs would be more confusing. Just try to follow the same structure for each organ; I recommend doing a brief introduction, anatomy, function, timeline, development, historic findings, current research and abnormalities for each organ. It is important that your page has a coherent flow by following the same structure for each subheading. An overall introduction on endocrine system might also be very useful. You can then include in the introduction how you are planning to structure your page.
The content and number of references show that extensive research has been conducted. It would be great if you could use in-text referencing and place all the references under one subheading at the end of the page. Arranging the information into tables is a great idea but you need to complete your tables for pineal gland, hypothalamus and placenta. You also need to include more images in your page (you can include at least one image for the abnormality associated with each organ). There are a few images included at the moment and they are well done and appropriately referenced. You can also try to draw your own diagrams. In my opinion, a timeline showing the development of all the systems would be a great way to compare the different stages in development of different endocrine glands. Maybe think about including this in a table after you finished all the sections; it is a good way to connect the information provided separately for each organ. Overall the content of this page is very good but it needs to be formatted so that it can have a coherent flow. Also there is no information for introduction, historic findings and development of placenta, make sure you include those.
The breaking down of this system into organs is a real strong point of this page and there is plenty of information under each of these subheadings. The page could benefit from a ‘Current Findings’ section or perhaps by including relevant articles under each organ.
The text in this page is great but it could really benefit from the inclusion of some more images to support the information. I can see that your group did plenty of research but in text citations need to be included with your text with a ‘References’ section at the bottom of the page to stop the reference lists scattered along the page from interrupting the flow of your page.
Overall the page is definitely well resourced and has plenty of detailed text. Along with the inclusion of images and some minor improvements with the organisation of your text, this page will become a very good finished product.
There is currently no information under the 'introduction' subheading? With no introduction, we arn't given the basic outline of what systems will be covered as well as basic understanding of what the endocrine system comprises of and what its basic functions in our body are. Maybe put up this information when you guys have the chance to as it could help out with the flow of the group project.
There is nice information on the different parts of the Endocrine system (a typo for 'abnormalities' in the Pineal Gland section) but no in-text citations as of now, it would greatly clarify where the information came from as well as save you from having all the references under your body of text in that subheading :)
Under Hypothalamus subheading, the table is not complete yet, but once filled in would look great. Maybe even put the tables description in bold (yes I saw the text above it) Good use of diagrams throughout the project.
Although all the different parts of the system are thoroughly covered, there is no information no subheading which marks Current research models and findings as well as Historical findings? It might be good to add such information into the group project as they are two of the main subheadings Mark put out for us on the initial assignment release :)
Also for the references, place all the references in the subheading you guys have made at the bottom of the page as well as putting in-text citations to help with the overall flow of the group project.
Great job overall, there is loads and loads of information on this system and its clear you guys are doing it well so far!
I noticed that there is no introduction, however the page does have introduction heading, I’m assuming you didn’t get the chance to upload information there or you haven’t had the time. This is something you need to work on so that the audience has some note of what this page is about, instead of just going straight into the pineal gland. It would make your page more appealing and professional if you followed through with an introduction. There is great amount of reference at the end of each section however there is no in- text referencing. Having in-text referencing will allow the audience to know exactly where the information was read from and for the interest of the audience can read that specific paper in detail. There is a great amount of information in almost every section with great detail however, consider subheadings to make the section easier to read and allows the audience to navigate the page effortlessly. Also consider some images in each section, to make it more inviting and not overwhelming with just content. I do appreciate that each section is subdivided into “development, timeline”, maybe consider adding in the current research, historic research and abnormalities to ensure that you can get all the marks possible by addressing all the key concepts.
Overall this page is coming along nicely, I can appreciate the difficulty of this system in trying to make the page more coherent. However if you work on the subheading within each section and add some images as well as some in text referencing I think that should make a significant difference by making this page more inviting, easier to navigate and also appear greatly organised.
You have covered the main topics by listing the endocrine organs. However the sections are lacking some key information which I assume you will add later. The introduction is empty and it would be very helpful it outlined what the page was about and what the page was focusing in terms of endocrine development. Also historic findings and current research models and findings haven’t been addressed yet. It is present to a small extent in some endocrine organ descriptions. By identifying these topics the page could be greatly contributed too. The page has good use of timeline for all the organ descriptions. However the timelines need to be expanded on with more detail.
Maybe a better use of headings is possible, where subheadings under each sections can be made. For example under hypothalamus the following subheadings can be added and used; historic findings, recent models and findings, hypothalamus development during fetal period, abnormalities occurring during fetal period. These topics are covered in some sections, but if subsection headings were made, it would be much more easy to read and navigate through. As there is a lot of organs to cover this may be useful.
Diagrams and tables could really help fill the page up and help in giving a more comprehensive coverage of the topic. Some tables aren’t fully filled up, for example the table under ‘hypothalamus’ and ‘Associated Abnormalities’. The filled up tables which are in the pancreas and adrenal gland really help these sections and if added and fully filled up for other sections could really add to the page. There is a helpful use of dot points within the page which helps make the material readable and structured, particularly in thymus, pancreas and gonad development.
Some sections don’t have adequate information on fetal development for example the Hypothalamus and Pituitary sections. There seems to be a teaching level of knowledge being displayed. Deeper research could be done to further enhance the project and fulfil project aims. Also more tools for helping peers understand the topic could be used, for example diagrams and hand drawn diagrams, video links etc. References are done and there is a lot of in text citations. Some sections like the ‘Pineal Gland’ and ‘Hypothalamus’ section has no in text citations, which need to be added. The official references section is empty. If all the references from each of the sections could be added to the main reference section it would be great for the page. This can easily be done by referring to the how to reference page on the website; https://embryology.med.unsw.edu.au/embryology/index.php/Help:Reference_Tutorial. Overall good job guys ! Good luck
Diagrams that have been used are good and show what the text has been explaining. Tables have been used well to illustrate some of the information; tables could also possibly be used to show the developmental timeline more clearly. References could all be collated at the end of the project to make the text flow better from one section to another.
The page is well formatted in terms with heading and choice of content such as diagrams, tables and graphs. Having the different organs as headings is good as it allows the readers to take in information in a logical manner. It is good that timeline is included under each organ heading shows understanding of the whole endocrine system by breaking it down organ by organ however each sections is not consistent with the other one. Some has development overview while others write timeline I would suggest to keep it as same heading for all. There is good description of each organ at the beginning of each section and in the timeline there is key events described showing understanding and helping to learn.
All sections are incomplete in some form or another. The diagram used are good and relevant especially the pancreas cells diagram. It is well explained and shoes evidence of research. Pineal gland timeline looks incomplete or doesn’t show evidence of enough research however the recent finding is relevant and good in this section, other sections have not included recent finding showing some lack of research. Other sections also have incomplete tables and could put diagrams or drawings to so information can be better understood for readers. A video or two could also be added on the page and a section for historic finding should be added under each headings.
Overall there is some good information that shows evidence of research in the development of the different endocrine organs however there is lack of models and research findings as well as historic findings, even abnormalities are not well explained in each headings. It is not easy to navigate as each headings are not consistent with each other however the diagrams used are relevant and properly explained and citied. There is also good use of table to enhance understanding of hormones involved and with few adjustments page will look organised and be logical to read. Reference is done correctly however it would make it more engaging and easier to follow if in text reference was done and having a list of the reference at the end. A short paragraph in the introduction would also help readers understand exactly what is involved in endocrine system.
Group Project Topic - Endocrine
--Z3418702 (talk) 13:07, 20 August 2014 (EST) We have decided to allocate 2 topics (endocrine organs) to each group member. We will go and research each and look for research articles and then figure out the best way to structure the content.
--Z3414648 (talk) 12:19, 26 August 2014 (EST) This is a draft allocation for research topics for our project. Janaki - Pineal, Hypothalamus. Ali (z3414648)- Pituitary, thyroid. Samrah (z3418837) - parathyroid, thymus, pancreas. Ruth - Adrenal, gonad, placenta. Samrah and Ruth if there is heaps to do on those three parts that i've allocated just let Janaki and I know and we can also help out. If anyones topics are sparse on info also let us know and we can reshuffle the allocations
--Z3418698 (talk) 22:02, 26 August 2014 (EST) Hey guys, I was thinking we should maybe have a heading 'Recent findings' for maybe a few of the topics and have a short, brief summary of any new developments. I think it would be really interesting!
--Z3418702 (talk) 00:00, 27 August 2014 (EST) That's a good idea, should we put a separate section on recent findings, or just some information on recent findings under each section? Also we need historical findings
--Z3418837 (talk) 00:44, 27 August 2014 (EST)Hey guys, it's better to post student numbers to the parts allocated to each group member so it's easier for the tutor to mark. I would do this but i'm not sure about who is who :P Also I like the idea of recent findings. I think it's also better to post articles related to the recent findings and abnormalities as we go along as this will make it easier instead of leaving it to the end. For now, I think we should just post up as many articles related to each topic as possible and then figure out how to structure the content.
I also found this review article that goes into a lot of detail about the pituitary gland. It explains the cellular differentiation involved to create the cells responsible for manufacturing hormones like ACTH. There is a lot of complex gene involvement but I was thinking we could condense a lot of the information into a table. I suggest you guys do that for your organs too rather than having a lot of jargon on our page that only an advanced biochemist will understand.
--Z3414648 (talk) 10:09, 9 September 2014 (EST) Hey i found a great article on normal and abnormal thyroid development and it's given me a lot of great information for the timeline part. <pubmed>10.1016/j.beem.2013.08.005</pubmed>
--Z3418698 (talk) 12:44, 10 September 2014 (EST)We are going to incorporate the Timeline and Abnormalities under each individual sub heading rather than at the end of the page. We are also going to find image links and post them in the discussion page before uploading them. We are also going to tabulate the hormones released by the glands under the subheadings. This will summarise the function of the glands in the embryo and how they contribute to fetal development.
--Z3418702 (talk) 00:46, 17 September 2014 (EST) Hi guys, I've added some info about adrenal development through gestation, at this stage some simple dot points which will probably be expanded upon later. There is a lot of content about the cell morphology at different weeks but I'm not sure as yet whether it's necessary to include that level of detail?
--Z3414648 (talk) 12:59, 17 September 2014 (EST) Hey guys, i found this link for an image that i'm thinking of using on the project. It's from PLOSone which is good because it's free to use those images. This is the link for it: http://www.plosone.org/article/info%3Adoi%2F10.1371%2Fjournal.pone.0016752
--Z3418698 (talk) 13:06, 17 September 2014 (EST) Hey guys, I found this image I wanted to use for hypothalamus development in a rodent, it basically illustrates the different nuclei in the hypothalamus once it it fully developed but I will be focusing on those that are present during development and the role of hormones each of them releases. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2082685/figure/fig1/
--Z3418702 (talk) 23:50, 23 September 2014 (EST)--Z3418702 (talk) 23:50, 23 September 2014 (EST) Hi guys, I think I might use this image (figure 3), it's from the PLoS too so totally fine to re-use and shows the fetal adrenal gland using 3 different techniques, like MRI, gross imaging and histological stain. I like it because it shows the gland from different perspectives. I'll upload it soon but here's the link: http://www.plosone.org/article/info%3Adoi%2F10.1371%2Fjournal.pone.0075511
--Z3418837 (talk) 03:29, 24 September 2014 (EST) I might use this image for the pancreas section http://www.plosone.org/article/info%3Adoi%2F10.1371%2Fjournal.pone.0007739 . It basicallys shows the development of the islet of langerhans and the ratio of alpha & beta cells at different phases of fetal development. Also Z3418698, I don't think that image can be used as it has copyright restrictions. Try looking in Plos One =]
--Z3418698 (talk) 11:59, 15 October 2014 (EST) Hi guys, for our stem cell research presentation task I've found an interesting article on adipose tissue-derived stromal cells and their potential for cardiovascular regeneration. Have a look and let me know what you think! :) http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1873506114001068
--Z3414648 (talk) 12:15, 15 October 2014 (EST) Hey i found an article on stem cell biology that we can send in to be checked. This is the link if you want to have a look at it. We just need one more and then we're sweet. Sorry I didn’t respond, I can’t make it this Thursday evening since I’m tutoring and I’ve got tickets to an Oktoberfest party. From next week onwards my Thursday evenings will be free, obviously. I’d love to be updated with what happens tomorrow night if someone is going to take minutes of the meeting? http://download.springer.com/static/pdf/736/art%253A10.1007%252Fs11626-014-9818-2.pdf?auth66=1413334955_76faa5c3ff5dcfff697deaf907881825&ext=.pdf
--Z3418702 (talk) 19:06, 19 October 2014 (EST) Hi guys, I've found this article about using human mesenchymal stem cells in bone tissue replacement for our week 13 presentation. I think it would be interesting! http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/25275528
- Firstly, props on choosing the endocrine system. It seems like one of the harder ones to take on
- I don't understand why you chose to divide tasks based on endocrine organs as that has seemed to cause your research to become really disjointed. I guess now work harder to collaborate your separate findings particularly for things like having 1 united timeline overview
- Ensure uniformity throughout the page with little things like is it "fetal" or "foetal"? Choose one then go with it
- Maybe have labels for tables more distinguished as being separate to the main text
- Include the references throughout discussion, rather than a collection at the end of each section. Then have the entire reference list at the bottom like all the other pages have. You can look at the "edit" of other pages to copy and paste the codes
- Your timeline isn't really a timeline if there are no times mentioned in the "pineal gland" section. Try using a week-by-week format and separating information that way for all of your findings altogether. Then format that into a table
- Proofread for typos "Abnormalities" in "pineal gland" section
- Need more images for earlier sections
- Great formatting of images and tables for the adrenal gland, parathyroid and pancreas sections