Talk:2014 Group Project 2
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|Project Analysis 24 Sep|
|Group Assessment Criteria|
- Project page should have identified early in the introduction that it is about fetal development of the renal system.
- Text should have been better balanced against a figure in the introduction section.
- Tables are used well to summarise specific information within the project.
- 12 figures, 2 student drawn figure.
- Many of the other projects had more figures and I was having difficulty identifying the "fetal" component of some of the included images.
Smoke Exposed and Control offspring. Z5030311 Sub-headings should have been used for the caption, reference and copyright information as I have shown below. You have not identified the species used to model the smoke effect nor how P1, P20 and 13 weeks relates to the equivalent human developmental periods.
Mouse Kidney Development Cartoon. Z3465654 This figure relates to the project topic and you have included reference, copyright and student template. Minor, this has not been well formatted with subheadings.Major, there is no appropriate description of the figure components (A-K), nor colouring key, nor acronyms. This should have all appeared in the caption section here.
Nephron Maturation Z3465654 Figure relates to project topic contains reference, copyright and student template. There is no time course given for when these events occur. You have not identified the molecular factors shown by their gene names in the figure. The figure is also very small making the details difficult to see.
Z3465654 Student image - ascension of the kidney. Figure relates to project and is well-drawn. This section of associated information should have included a description of the figure, explanation of terms used and time course covered. You have included labelling (a,b,c,d) but nowhere in the information section, caption or project page are these explained. Source on which figure was based should have appeared in a reference sub-heading. Finally a little work with the initial figure lighting and later image brightness/contrast adjustment would have made this figure much clearer.
female urethra and bladder Z3463310 Figure relates to project topic contains reference, copyright and student template. There is no information included to indicate how this figure related to fetal renal development. Minor, the image is far to small to be able to see detail if the purpose ids to show the anatomy.
The introduction to this page was will written and the information was clear and to the point. Each component of the renal system was mentioned in your group’s introduction which gave an overall/holistic preview of the information that is evidently discussed underneath. There is a developmental timeline showing the key events of renal development at the embryonic, fetal and post-natal stages. Perhaps consider presenting this information in a table. The historic findings section, however, was lacking information. This section needs to be further researched and added to make this project complete.
Your choice of content, clear structure, headings and images is evident that your group is working well and have a good understanding of this topic area. However, there is no hand drawn image yet. The image chosen form Langman’s Medical Embryology is a great image to show as it demonstrates the progressive stages of kidney ascent, perhaps you could consider re-drawring that image rather than just immediately upload it from the textbook. Your descriptions and information presented can be understood at the peer level. It is both engaging and informative, well done!! There is also a good balance between text and images that are appealing for the reader. The information presented in the first half of your project is ample however this is not coherent with the second half of your project page, where descriptions are not as developed.
There is a great selection of images that are used in your group project. Most of these images are correctly cited and have been uploaded in the correct manner. Some images are just missing the student template image:
You can just copy (edit mode) this into your image summaries and it will appear: ----
There are a great number of resources that are used in this project, and all your references are correctly cited. As your project is still underway, I am sure that you will add additional references and also make it one complete this at the end of your project.
Overall, I enjoyed reading about the renal system on presented by your group and I am confident you will earn high marks for your project. Best of wishes group 2!
The introduction successfully touches on the project as a whole, including describing the system and its development, and the abnormalities that may arise. However it has failed to mention the importance of historical and current research. Also adding an image of the renal system or the renal units in particular will heighten the readers interest in this project.
There seems to be no information under the historical findings subheading, it might be hard to find research papers on this system, however a good start would be reading Mark Hill’s page on the renal development.
A very brief developmental timeline, however it does simply provide the information required to understanding the timeframe of renal development. More information about the structures mentioned in this timeline is required, this can be added within the timeline or following it.
The current research model section needs more information, if you are unable to find enough to make a substantial section then a possibility to work around that is to integrate the various research models with the organ sections. However, if more information can be obtained then this section should be left and continued as the image is correctly included and the information is written at a high standard.
The division of this page into the various organs in the renal system, the kidney, urethra, and ureter is clever as providing information on all in one section may be overwhelming. Each of these organs are well researched and written about. The layout looks fine with the paragraphs placed under subheadings and an abundant amount of images are located next to their corresponding information. Some images do not have a description, it is best to add a description, even a short one, to guide the reader and pinpoint the reason for uploading. An error has occurred for the first image under the Kidney section which has been removed by the administrator. Please take care with copyright.
I really like the abnormality section and the information added thus far. It is evident that you plan to continue as this section is not finished, however with what is there, great work. Both images used contain captions and clearly understood descriptions. One fault is the presence of references in this section. The group has one reference heading at the end of the project, however some of the references doubled up within the abnormalities section. One that note, please look carefully through the referencing list as you have the same articles more than once in the list, for example 23 and 24. There is a way of merging them together and having superscripts indicate that this article has been cited more than once, use article 28 and 30 as examples.
Overall the group has done a good job at referencing and has derived information from a variety of mediums including video clips and animations. What I would suggest however is to keep all the references at the end of the page under an exclusive references heading. I think this would make the project appear much more organized and easier to read. I think the use of quotation marks should be avoided in the introduction. It would be a better idea to summarise the sentence in your own words and reference it.
Though the introduction is informative, I think it could be structured better so as to flow on from each paragraph, particularly with the last two paragraphs. With the developmental timeline, it would be a great idea to put that into a table and expand a little more on each stage you have listed to make it easier to understand the process.
Current research models mentioned were explained well and provided context to the information given however I’d suggest to use two subheadings for each of the different research models used (mice and lambs) so that the text isn’t so chunky. I think the kidney development, urethra, bladder and abnormality section were written exceptionally well and the text was supported with relevant images. The referencing here however was a little inconsistent with the rest of the format but that can easily be fixed during the editing process.
Overall however, the information was presented well in an interesting and meaningful way, perfectly suited as an educational resource for university students. Great job!
Very nice introduction. Keeps the reader engaged and outlines what the page is about specifically. Historic findings have been untouched but do not worry I think you still have 1-2 weeks to complete this project. Try using pubmed and also it will be helpful to looks at Mark’s (course coordinator/convenor) historical textbooks/journal articles on his page. Try having in text citations for the timeline. Also try making a table instead of dot points as well as use images if possible. Also try including a little more information in the timeline as this can give the reader a greater idea of what to expect. Try including the years of when the current findings were discovered. Also try to have some information on the molecular signals which drive the development of renal in fetus. The abnormalities section is well researched and well organised though I suggest putting the references in the end of the page as a bulk. Well use of images throughout the page. All the images were related to the topic and were very well put together in the text. I insist for you to put all the references in one place. Finally just fix few minor things and add information to the historic section then you will be done. Overall well done as the page is well organised and is not missing much in terms of contents.
The introduction section of the page is well written and provides a nice overview to the whole project that unifies each subheading of the project as a whole. Some potential ideas for historic findings section may be to use some sort of timeline or table with some visual effects through historical images/ drawings. Developmental timeline is clear and concise however this section would be more effective with a greater amount of detail and perhaps a panel of images to convey visually each stage of development. The current research models section was very well written with two relevant current papers discussed- perhaps a few additional papers can be cited- even under an expanded box format so that the readers can be linked to other current studies in the area of interest. The explanation of the figure is also really well presented and described. The section with the subheadings of kidney, ureter and bladder is very well researched and presented- well informed, great use of images and also well referenced. One area for improvement could perhaps be presenting the information in a simpler way as at times it seems too bunched up- maybe smaller bullet points. The image within the urethra subheading is missing a figure caption. Abnormalities section was very descriptive and informative- may be a few more abnormalities could be listed. Overall reference section is also done correctly although some sections individual references need to be integrated into this overall section.
The introduction provides a very informative description of the functions of the kidney and bladder. Perhaps it would be good to give some more details of the embryonic development just to quickly summarise what has been happening with the fetus up until this point. Also, maybe the introduction should introduce what the page’s content is going to cover. The order of historic findings and then developmental timeline is appropriate as historic findings can be used to compile the timeline. It would also be useful to have the timeline in a table format to make the page look neater and more simplified. Also, there is no research done on ‘historic findings’ so need to address that before final submission.
‘Current research models’ section is good but brief and requires more extensive research as only two articles are cited. There should be information on current models used to study renal development as well as current research and findings. The image in this section is well presented, with appropriate titling, referencing, image descriptions and copyright information with the student image template. Sections 1.5-1.8 should be smaller sub headings under the larger heading ‘System Development’ and perhaps should go at the top of the page, beneath the introduction seeing as in order to understand research and historic findings, it is necessary to understand renal development first.
It is very good that there is a small section on early development, however maybe it would be better to have it more briefly explained, perhaps in the form of a student drawn diagram or presented as a table. There also is a problem with the image uploaded in the early development section, so should fix that before final submission. The ‘abnormalities’ section is also done well however more conditions should be listed and described with pictures for each one. There are also only abnormalities of the kidneys listed, so maybe it would be better to have more of the other components of the renal system as well (bladder, ureter, urethra).
Also, maybe more information regarding the anatomy of the kidneys and renal system should be added, as this is an anatomy course. Some images are also missing the student image template. Most images are uploaded correctly with the right information, maybe more would make the page look more aesthetically pleasing as well as assist learning.
Referencing is done correctly with a numbering system and in-text citations are also correct. The in-text referencing in the ‘anatomical position’ sub section of ‘fetal development’ of the ‘Kidney’ section is not referenced appropriately so just fix that minor problem.
Overall, this is great work and should just include more information in certain sections and upload more images, preferably some student drawn images as well. Well done!
The introduction is well addressed as it sufficiently describes what the renal system is about and its function. Not to mention its anatomical structure as well as the difference between the embryonic and fetal stages of development. This differentiation enables viewers to understand what the content will be focused on, which is fetal development. Also, it helps focus the viewer’s attention on how the project will be divided as the group mentions abnormalities in the last paragraph. Overall the introduction has the right amount of information from each subheading and is very easy to comprehend.
There isn’t any information under ‘historic findings’. If there are any difficulties in finding some historic findings, members of the group can go to pubmed and on the side will be dates such as 1920 that could contain key historical events when renal is entered on search. The use of a development timeline was great as they outlined the major events that occur in a concise manner. Although, I believe a glossary is needed for words like ‘metanephros’ since the viewers would not know what that is. The content under current research models is interesting and correctly describes what the studies were about. Overall, the content used in the project was relating to the topic (fetal development of the kidney) and clearly showed extensive research. I really like how the group divided the different parts of the renal system as well as describing their anatomical positions. The abnormalities listed are also interesting and very easy to understand. I’m hoping to see information under the Horseshoe kidney disease.
In terms of images, there should be an image under introduction perhaps having all features of the renal system. Most images are missing the ‘student template’ aspect of the referencing and needs to be added right away. Other aspects such as description, copyright and referencing were correct. I also like the use of footnotes to describe what the images are about, however some are missing on the page such as the one under ‘anatomical position’ and ‘urethra’. The image used for the ‘development of the kidney’ should be removed from the page as it isn’t permissible. It should be replaced with an image relating to the content and have all the correct copyright and referencing information. Overall, I like the number of images used and its significance to the renal system. They accurately relate to the content of the project.
There is use of in-cite referencing which is good, however some references are just listed and should be placed under the proper ‘references’ subheading such as the ones under ‘ureter’ and ‘renal agenesis’. Some references in the ‘references’ list are used over again and can be fixed by combining it under one reference number. To make the project even more appealing, the group could format the information under ‘developmental timeline’ or even ’historic findings’ in a table. Overall, I think this project is great and by making edits based on the peer-reviews received could enhance their project.
Good introduction with integrated citations. Content is easy to understand and well presented. There needs to be more references in some sections like development to compare with the rest of the work, which is well done.
Obviously historic findings needs to have some content added
Timeline is simple and easily gives information on sections
As a whole, the project feels like a wall of text even with the images included. breaking some sections up to more concise, dot pointed content could do well.
more work needs to be done tidying up referencing. Changing the references so that they link to a list at the end would be a good idea. You can always look at other project pages and just copy the reference style
Images are well used throughout the project. Again, relocating the references for these would be a good idea. A few have no flavour text to identify what the viewer is looking at. Look at adding this to page.
That all being said, well thought out and executed project so far
I think that this is a great start to the project. Your project appears well researched and informative, yet there are a few areas which need improvement to ensure that your project clearly demonstrates the developmental stages of renal development. I thought that over, the introduction was a good start to the project and clearly identifies the major components of the renal system and its functions. Because this is highly descriptive, I think it would benefit from a diagram or even video which could couple your description. The developmental timeline is a good idea, however I think severely lacks content. It would be a good idea to add a table or some form of diagrammatic representation of the historical findings, and the addition of pictures would greatly benefit the clarity of your work.
The current research is quite well done and seems heavily researched. There are areas which are a little bit too wordy at times, and your paragraphs are quite long- I think it would be of great benefit if you were to reduce your paragraphs into shorter bullet points so as to convey the main ideas that you are speaking about. Also, maybe a table would assist in ensuring the clarity of your work.
Overall, I think this is a great project and is off to a good start! There are a few things that need fixing- such as the developmental timeline, but I’m sure that it will come along nicely by the time submission is due.
Really good introduction! It clearly outlines what is in the page. Most key points were done really well except for historic findings. There is a section on the Wikipage that has old books on embryology. It’s under the “Explore” tab and you’ll see “Historic embryo”. The developmental timeline would’ve been better if it was in a table, has an image showing the major steps in development, and is within the development section of the page. Regarding the development section, very detailed and informative. It clearly outlines the development of the renal system in the fetal stage. Dividing this section into the different organs is a very smart decision. It makes it a lot less confusing to the reader. Maybe try to breakdown some of the information and use dot points. There are lots of images to give the readers a visual of the developmental process. Also, the images have captions, which is great.
Great job on the current research section. The articles chosen for current research is highly relevant to the topic and to the project. This section is written concisely and very detailed. The image really helps to understand the findings of the research. The same can be said to the abnormalities section. Each disease was written concisely and is very informative. The images really help in terms of understanding the clinical manifestation/s of each disease. Try to find information on current treatments and/or management techniques for each disease.
Looking at the images included, all of them seems to be properly uploaded except for the “Kidney ascent.jpg”. It is missing its copyright information. From what I know, images from textbooks normally can’t be used because of copyright. Other than that, all the images are relevant and function as an aid to understanding what each section is about. In regards of citation and references, everything looks good. Each section was well-researched and properly cited. Great job on organising most of your references at the bottom of the page. The page looks very clean. In summary, focus on getting the historic findings section done and just minor fixes on images. Well done!
In this review I will attempt to highlight the strengths of your project and identify some areas for improvement, in light of the criteria provided.
I believe the developmental timeline is a great way to summarise the major events at each stage in fetal development and serves as a simple introduction to the project. However I think it would be best if you presented this information in a tabulated format, and perhaps you should include a little more detail for each developmental stage. For instance “Week 8 – Mature kidney is formed” you could also mention some structures features that allow us to recognise that it is a mature kidney (hallmarks of a mature kidney)
I think the current research section delves into a number in interesting areas, mentioning studies investigating treatment options for congenital renal abnormalities. I think another interesting area that you could address is the molecular signalling and gene expression process that drives the underlying differentiation and development of the renal system.
The abnormalities associated with renal development in the feral period have been well researched and the information provided is well structured. However this section seems incomplete. I see a number of additional links to interesting scholarly articles. I think you should discuss some more abnormalities and divide them up into abnormalities arising in the early and late stages of fetal development. I also suggest including images or diagrams to break up the text and make the descriptive text easy to visualise.
There is has been little information added on the historic findings. This is an essential component of the project. I suggest looking at text books in the library or searching the UNSW database to find information for this section.
I really like how you have selected labeled diagrams to compliment and break up the text. Each image is relevant to the topic being discussed and the small description attached really help the reader orient them selves. Overall this project is coming along nicely. Just ensure that you are making progress on all the sections. Also only include relevant references. Finally proof read and review your work before the final submission.
This is an excellent introduction and gives a great expectation for the information to come later in the project. The current research models section needs to be checked for spelling and grammar. The information here is good but is also very dense and hard to follow. It would be great if you could break it up a bit with bullet points or more images or tables. This style of writing is very professional and would be perfect for a report or essay, however as a wiki page it is too hard to follow. Breaking up the information into bullet point and tables would allow you to guide the reader through a journey of renal system development.
There has clearly been a lot of research and work put into this project and that is very commendable. However on a whole, there is too much information. It’s difficult to read and grasp a wholesome understanding of the renal system when it delves too deep too quickly. One suggestion is giving a more brief explanation of the timeline of nephrogenesis, urethra, ureter and bladder development and then go into more detail in a subheading called “current research findings”. The references under the abnormalities heading should be incorporated at the very end.
The introduction delivers a conventional scope of the renal system, allowing the audience to understand the structure and function to the parts of this system. Maybe consider uploading a picture that would illustrate the overall information in the introduction.
The developmental timeline is a great idea that outlines the significant events and in turn helps put major events into perspective, making it more effective for students to study and understand. However maybe consider presenting this information in the table format or see if you can get a vertical/horizontal line to represent the timeline. I feel that there is not enough information in the 'Historic findings' and perhaps you could do some more research.
The "Current research" section is very detailed and shows a great amount of research of recent articles that are relevant. The images included in the current research and the abnormalities section is great as it makes reference to the topic spoken about, giving the student a further understanding of the topic. The images are referenced properly except for “Kidney ascent.jpg”, it's missing a reference.
Overall this page is coming along nicely however you need to work on your development timeline formatting it in order to present a systematic presentation as a means to make it more friendly.
This so far is a really good. You have all obviously done your research as well as you have got a lot of references throughout your page which again is great. The introduction is well done, clear and concise which is good. Maybe think about adding an image to make it a bit more appealing. You will obviously need to add some historic findings, but I’m sure your aware of that. The developmental timeline I think could be improved if you were to tabulate it as other projects have done that and it looks really good and more professional. The referencing is well done as it looks good having all the references down the bottom of the page. There are some references over the page which have just been listed so it may be a good idea to change this so that they are all down the bottom.
You have made a good start on the current research models. Note the buy in the line ‘One recent research paper buy Al-Odat et al.’ should be by. I don’t think you should actually reference the paper in your writing either. You should reference it but do so by using a footnote rather than actually saying the names of the people. The development of the kidney image has not worked so look at the formatting of that image.
On the bigger picture of this project something that I have noticed is that the balance of writing to images is heavily towards the information writing side. So I think it would be good if you were able to tip this balance with a few more pictures as it would make the page more appealing. I think in doing so you could add some student images as this will make the page more interesting, Also spacing your information out as at times when you look at a whole chink of writing you don’t feel like reading it, so I think spacing it out more will help.
Overall though it is a well done project. A few things such as the references that have been just listed on the page that need to go down the bottom, inclusion of some more student images, and tipping the balance of your page more in favor of images would go a long way in making your project even better. But you have done a good job so far and best of luck with the rest of it.
At the first scroll of this page it already seemed completely sufficiently. The structural layout is done really well and it’s good to see that it’s done according to the advised sub headings. The introduction is really well done, provides a great explanation into renal development, an abundant overview of the whole page and topics that will be addressed. The info for ‘historic findings’ seems to be lacking content, might be useful to search under the “Explore” tab on the left had side of the embryo page, clicking on the sub heading ‘historic embryo’. Also a useful source is the unsw library as it spans a longer period of time and following the unsw search then research the article in the pubmed site. Might be nice to format a proper timeline or use a table. The ‘current research models’ section is done really well with an abundant amount of detail in each study presented and good use of images. The use of a descriptive caption under each image is done proficiently, it is nice to see that each section has incorporated some form of visual whether histological or from research studies. The ‘kidney’ section is structured really well, the use of the content under early development is unnecessarily but is useful in introducing the stage prior to fetal development. Under the’ anatomical position’ sub heading the in text citations need to be adjusted. For references that are not pubmed use this format; . Also the image provided will most likely need to be deleted and then drawn, as we are not allowed to use images directly from textbooks. Just re draw the image if you can and then upload it as you would with any other image. Another suggestion for each of the corresponding organs in renal development, try to format some of the content into dot points or tables so not all lengthy paragraphs. Also noticed one of the images doesn’t have a caption this being under the urethra section. Very well detailed info on the abnormalities, would suggest to add a few more to be completely sufficient.
Lastly, the page has been completed to a high standard in the completion of all the info provided and subsequent images among each section. A few things have been noted, and there are only a few minor modifications that will need to be made these includes; referencing and some formatting as mentioned previously. The use of in text citations throughout the whole page is done efficiently, try to just try keep your references under one main heading. There is great effort noted in the research accumulated so far through the long list of references used to gather the info. Fantastic work everyone, keep up the great work !
The introduction provided by this project is very good and includes in-text citations. Not only does it introduce the renal system’s components but also discusses its development briefly into the embryonic and fetal stages, focusing more on fetal. Also, by having the references as one long list at the very end of the page, this gives the project a clean and tidy look, which some of the others lack. I thought this was a great idea and very orderly.
While some sections are full of information, others are scarce or empty, such as the ‘Historical findings’ section. Some information on the development of knowledge on the renal system throughout history should be included here, maybe making use of dot points detailing specific year dates. The ‘Developmental Timeline’ provides a good overview of the system’s development, although weeks 3-5 may not be necessary as these are during the embryonic period and the focus here is on fetal development. However, it does provide an overall context which is good. This information may also be effectively translated into a table format for easier readability.
The section on ‘current research models’ was nicely written, with solid analysis of 2 research articles. Using any more articles to that level of depth may be too much information, so this is a good balance. It was very good to see the text actually explaining the accompanying image, which was labelled with a caption too. The introduction to the use of animal models and why these are important was effective also.
I particularly thought the sub-sectioning of the page into the main organs of the renal system was a smart idea rather than having the entire system as a clump of information as this way, it is easier to navigate through the information. The ‘kidney’ section was of a very high standard as the information was relevant and nicely split into different processes of fetal development such as nephrogenesis and renin production. It is very helpful as a reader to have explanations of the images used, making the page more interactive and useful. However, this is a file with a ‘Permission error’ present which would need removal due to copyright infringement; this should be sorted out before the project is due.
The following three sections on the urethra, ureter and bladder were also well-written, referenced correctly with in-text citations and the images used were relevant to the text. However, captioning the image in the urethra section would be good to give the reader knowledge of exactly what it shows. The ‘abnormalities’ section was again, well -researched and full of information, however it seems a little cluttered as lengthy references are placed under the text. Integrating these into the overall reference list at the end of the page would look clearer.
Overall, this project has been well done and there is evidence of consistency throughout the section formatting, suggesting the group members have been communicating between each other, which is good to see. Some improvements I would suggest are the use of hand-drawn images to make it easier for a student to learn off the project, and using tables to summarise some information e.g. timeline.
The introduction is good and describes the project well. It is good to mention the function of renal system. It would be better if it states that the website will be focused on fetal development, current research and abnormalities to give a better understanding of the content.
Information under historic findings is missing, it would be a good way to start it by looking at textbooks. Images, bullet points and table can be used for an easy understanding of this section.
Using timeline to summarise the development of kidney is a good idea, however it would be clearer if a table is used, more descriptions under each stages and some images are include. Also, some references should be included in this section.
There are a lot of details under development, current research and abnormalities. It would be easier to read if they are written in point form. It is a good idea to divide renal system into several parts (kidney, urethra…) for the explanation of development. For the abnormalities, it is well-researched but some of the details are missing. It would be better if the each type of abnormalities is discussed equally.
Regarding the images, it is good and clear to explain each of them. The only problem is that there is no copyright information under the file “kidney ascent.jpg”.
The project is informative but lacking some information under historic findings and the developmental timeline.
The introduction of Group 2 is very succinct and straight to the point. I believe it could be improved with clear subheadings- such as ‘Bladder’ or ‘Nephrons’ (only a suggestion though!). I believe the group could add what they’re page hopes to achieve (outcomes).
The timeline/develop section of this project could be improved with a better. Add the table before or after the findings of the research paper. I believe with the table, that it could be better described and more information added to it. There is a good choice of headings though, as it has been clearly classified into distinct time points. The scientific research that accompanies this section also has a very good choice of headings/sub-headings. I do believe that this section could, however, be summarised and added to the table format above. There is excellent referencing and strong evidence of significant scientific research. I believe more recent and varying studies in the “recent research and findings’ section could be included. I also believe this section could be improved with a better layout- with clear, concise headings identifying what these studies found and when. The historic findings section needs to be addressed/included!
The Abnormalities section is excellent. It is informative, with a good choice of abnormalities and appropriate headings/sub-headings. It has a good choice of images and is correctly referenced.
The introduction to renal development in the embryonic stages has been written well as it clearly summarises this and conveys to the reader what will be covered below. Furthermore, renal development flows well as the information provided is clear and concise further displaying understanding of the topic. An image could be used that can help summarise the renal development stages in the embryonic period.
• Introduction written well as it summarises the concepts well.
• Some images have a description such as ‘Glomerula number in Smoke Exposed and Control offspring’.
• Headings are short and to the point.
• Abnormalities section written well with in-text citations and the use of footnotes to good effect.
• Overall structure looks good.
• Some images do not have a description of what the image is showing or an image name. For example, the image in the urethra development section.
• Consistency is not followed to great effect such as some images push the writing to the left side and others to the right side.
• Introduction could be updated indicating that these areas in renal development are covered in detail below as well as for more detailed information to be found in articles that have referenced.
• Some references have been placed under headings in the ureter for example. These references should be put in the end so as to maintain structure and consistency.
• Minimal grammatical errors found.
• Ensure that copyright clearance checked on images as one image has been removed and should be taken note of.
• Tabulated form of the timeline could be used or a good summary image.
• Information should be added to the historic findings heading ( 1700’s and on)
Introduction is very well-written with a precise background on the renal system anatomy and function. There is also a brief introduction on the development of renal system in both embryonic and fetal period as well as the abnormalities that can be associated with the development of this system. Therefore the reader can gain an expectation of what is going to be included in the wiki-page by reading the introduction first. In-cite referencing is also used to support the information provided. I suggest including an image of the anatomy of organs in the renal system to make the introduction even more perfect.
The developmental timeline is a very good way to start the development section; however your timeline is missing some of the important features such as when the ureter and urethra develop. I would also recommend tabulating the data so that it looks neater. I also recommend placing the “current research models” section after the sections describing the development of different organs so that the timeline is located right before the section explaining the development of “kidney”. Dividing the development into different organs and the subheadings used (especially under the heading of “kidney”) are very appropriate and are evidence of significant research that has been done for this project. The information provided is very comprehensive; however it is all formatted in paragraphs. I would suggest using dot points or adding your own diagrams and figures to summarise the text and make it more interesting to the readers. For example the diagram used to illustrate the anatomical position is very helpful and effectively summarises the information to readers. You should also make sure that you remove the image used for the development of kidney since it cannot be used due to copyright. In addition, most images are missing the ‘student template’ so make sure the template is added. There isn’t any information under the heading ‘historic findings’. I understand that this section is a bit more difficult than the rest. A suggestion I can make is to search for old articles in PubMed (by adjusting the year) which can include key historical events. Review articles that summarise historic findings related to renal development may also be helpful.
The content under “current research” is very interesting and relevant. A minor spelling error exists (“buy” instead of “by”). To further improve this section, I suggest searching for recent models that aid in better understanding of kidney development. The abnormalities section is very informative. Each disease is explained thoroughly and concisely. The images are also very helpful with the understanding of clinical manifestations. To improve this section, I suggest using dot-points and using more images. Make sure you include information for “Horseshoe Kidney” as well.
Overall, the content used in this project was very relevant and showed extensive research and understanding. The use of headings and subheadings was very appropriate which showed that the work has been well-divided among members. The use of in-cite referencing is also very good and references are all listed under one subheading; however, some references are used more than once, this can be fixed and they can be all combined under one number.
Introduction Background Timeline of development - everyone will research first to get general idea of when,what and how long it will develop. Divide this area up from there. Development of Actual system - all organs and parts that contribute to it (will be divided up later) Abnormalities
ACTUAL RESEARCH FIRST, THEN DIVIDE. SEE HOW MUCH INFO AND PARTS THERE IS FIRST
This page was well done and the introduction gave a clear insight into what the page was going to present. The strong point of this page was the descriptions of the developments the organs of the renal system. There were plenty of images to support the information in this section of your page that complimented the text and made it easier to read. The ‘Current Research’ section was another strong point and made the page really interesting because of the relevance to the rest of the text. I think this section in particular could spark the audience’s interest in this page. There seems to be plenty of references for each section and I think this is another real strong point of your page.
The weak point in terms of information was the ‘Historic Findings’ section. The individual in my group in charge of the ‘Historic Findings’ section found information in ‘Historic Embryo’ tab and if your group is unaware of this resource it may help. The ‘Abnormalities’ section does not yet seem to be completed and I think some of the abnormalities need to text written under their titles and some more images would make this section more interesting.
In terms of the organisation of this page, the strong point is the breaking up of the development into organs. It was a wise mood because it broke the text up into easy to understand segments with a good level of detail. The references still need to be organised particularly in the ‘Abnormalities’ section but I am sure this is something that will be handled during the finishing stages of the project. Overall, the page has its strong points and there are only some small issues that need to be rectified to make this page perfect.
They key topics under renal are listed clearly in the contents box. The subsections seem to cover all the relevant topics related to renal. The introduction is useful in that broadly explains what the page is mainly about and gives context. They have also ordered the sections well; introduction, historic findings, developmental timeline… references. Currently there is no information under ‘Historic findings’ and this information will be added I trust. The developmental timeline is good and succinct. However more information could be added to it but it is understood its ok if it doesn’t have much information because the other sections like “Kidney”, “Ureter” and “Urethra” sections cover it in more detail.
The current research model section is good and discusses use of animal models and their use in some current research. The Kidney, Urethra and Ureter development research is extensive with lots of information and some diagrams which is useful in explaining. The diagrams used are useful, in particular the nephrogenesis diagram. It is useful and relevant to what is being discussed. Also the diagram for anatomical position of the Kidney is useful in explaining. It would be hard to clearly convey such a pictorial concept without such a diagram. The MRI diagram of renal agenesis is interesting and useful also in describing renal agenesis abnormality. One image under the Urethra section doesn’t have a description unlike the other images, it could be added if you think it is necessary.
Throughout the page the content is cited and referenced. There are separate references list for abnormalities which could be added to the main reference list. Multiple reference lists can be collated into one. Also there a number of references under ‘Polycystic Kidney disease’ which if added to main reference list would be good. Also there are some repeats in the main reference list, in particular the paper ‘The number of fetal nephron progenitor cells limits ureteric branching and adult nephron endowment’. This could be fixed by referring to the how to reference page provided; https://embryology.med.unsw.edu.au/embryology/index.php/Help:Reference_Tutorial Teaching at a peer level was accomplished with the many useful diagrams as mentioned before. More teaching elements could be added to the page, like a video link or tables. These would be helpful in trying to explain development of renal structures.
Your group’s page is really good and if you keep adding more information and fix up the references it would make even better. Group 2
This group has put appropriate subheadings which follow the learning aim of embryology. Introduction is not to long could cut down on the physiology of the renal system and put more in its anatomical features and its development in fetal stage, also like how they introduced abnormalities in the introduction. There is no historic finding and I would suggest the historic findings being underneath the timeline heading. There is a basic timeline which is good as it helps clearing and understanding the key event occurring at a particular time frame. Good integration of recent finding and model and image was relevant and easy to interpret. Could include a bit more recent research.
The development of each component of the renal system is well structured. Each structure involved in the renal system is clearly shown as a heading. For kidney it is good there is a brief outline of what happens in the embryonic stage as kidney’s and then more detail explanation of development of the different parts of the kidney in the fetal stage. It helps readers to understand the basic start of kidney development to then understand how it grows form there in the fetal stage. Urethra and Bladder is well explained clear and concise, it shows research has been done while Ureter needs more work put into it, it looks incomplete and reader is left unsure of when the event are occurring.
Overall a well orientated project referencing is in correct format there is just some error with the reference under the Ureter heading which needs to be fixed ( have same format as the rest of the group project). Images used were excellent as there was a variety of historic picture, simple drawings and labelled diagrams. They were correctly referenced and labelled helping showing a good understanding of the topic and helping teach readers. For variety could possibly use a table for timeline and maybe video.
The introduction to this group project is informative and explains the basic components and function of the Renal system. It gives us a nice overview of the whole project . Historical section needs to have information put it? (maybe tabulated data or a timeline structure?)
Developmental timeline is laid out simply and basic information which is good for the average readers but not so helpful when it comes to someone who has no idea what the words mean (from an outside point of view) maybe even tabulate the data to clean it up a bit and make it look formal as well as putting in diagrams of the different developmental stages of Renal.
The current research model has a interesting article view added however, it just seems like a condensed wall of words, maybe lay out the section in a way to help readers read the text easily? Its really hard to keep track. Interesting diagram used :) Maybe add more current research papers, more citations? (just a suggestion)
The section with the subheadings of kidney, ureter and bladder is extremely well explained with appropriate diagrams included throughout the descriptions! However it would also be better to split up certain parts of the text as, like the current research model section, it is hard to keep up.
Maybe include more Renal abnormalities in your group project, the ones listed are interesting and some have diagrams to follow on with them, but some of them have just the basic information and nothing else. More diagrams and more information on the abnoralities you have put would greatly help in the project structure.
For referencing, the scattered references throughout the project interrupt with the flow of the project, maybe put all the references in a separate subheading at the bottom of the wiki-page to help with looks :)
Overall great work, some touch-ups to structure and visual aesthetics and you should be good :)
http://www.ehd.org/science_main.php?level=a&submit3.x=73&submit3.y=21&s18=on&ops=&re=on&L1=1&L2=0 have a look at this web site, good time line --Z3463310 (talk) 10:50, 26 August 2014 (EST)
Looks good. There wont be much we can say for all the individual events that occur since all of it is up to the 8th week, but it'll give us a good starting point. We can say 'such and such has been formed during the embryo period' and we can move on from there. I also found the following site which gives a nice intro into the components of the renal system and some general info on each part. Thought we might be able to incorporate a bit of it, talk about what the system/organ does, then follow on how it develops. Use it as a bit of a guide to how we could do our own. http://www.myvmc.com/anatomy/urinary-system-renal-system/ --Z3465654 (talk) 13:48, 24 August 2014 (EST)
https://docs.google.com/viewer?url=http%3A%2F%2Fpediatrics.med.unc.edu%2Feducation%2Fcurrent-residents%2Frotation-information%2Fnephrology%2Ffiles-1%2FNephrogenesis.ppt this web site goes into quite a lot of detail regarding how the renal system develops.
I think in terms of dividing the work:
- 1- urine formation (week 11~12) & amniotic sac
- 2- kidneys descending from where they developed to adult anatomical positions (week 9)
- 3- development of trigone of the bladder and allantois
- 4- structures that arise from the Metanephric mesoderm
- 5- structures that arise from the Ureteric bud
- 6- abnormalities (developmental and genetic)
- 7- introduction
- 8- timeline of events in development
I've thought of 8 topics we can divide the work into, so lets choose 2 each? I preferably want to do abnormalities and urine formation (number 1 and 6), is that ok? we need this sorted out for our lab homework thing for this week. please reply asap. --Z3463310 (talk) 10:50, 26 August 2014 (EST)
On the actual project page when you expand the bit at the top there are 5 bullet point but the first one is just to come up with our title, shall we divide our project into those 4 different headings?: Review that system development during the fetal period. Identify current research models and finding. Identify historic findings. Identify abnormalities that can occur in this system during the fetal period
Hey guys, i have now gone and updated the page and added sub-headings as suggested by above, please feel free to add or delete anything you seem unfit for the page. As for the online assessment due tomorrow, i agree that 2 each is appropriate although the timeline will be very long and would be unfair if one person to do the whole thing... We should probably divide the timetable based on weeks and then assign who wants to do what. Although i thought we agreed that i would do the abnormalities as discussed in the last lab...? i have already started to do some research on the topic....
Here is a basic summary of some of the development structures in the renal system, as well as their abnormalities https://web.duke.edu/anatomy/embryology/urogenital/urogenital.html
Ill look at 4 and 5 if that is alright with everyone (structures that arise from the Metanephric mesoderm and the Ureteric bud), I think we need to also write a bit about Historic findings and current research models --Z5030311 (talk) 17:24, 26 August 2014 (EST)
Uh I guess that leaves 1 & 8 then, since no one wants to do the timeline xD It doesnt look too hard so i dont mind doing timeline :) so whoever only took 1 topic, can you please do the intro as well please? Also im not 100% on the topics, but it'll have to do for now. add as we go i guess. --Z3463310 (talk) 20:26, 26 August 2014 (EST)
yeah no worries, there will most likely be changes to the topics, or at least the headings. It's only set out the way it is now just so we can have a general layout, have some idea what to research. I also dont think we'll end up sticking to the subheading we chose, as there is a lot of stuff that will cross over to other topics. I think we said that the timeline would be one of the last things we would do yeah? cause after we research all the organs and stuff as it develops, it would be easier to determine when it all develops as well, so we could just stick all that info together at the end. --Z3465654 (talk) 21:04, 26 August 2014 (EST)
- kidney(nephrogenesis0 - Sam
- ureter - Bahar
- urethra & fetal urination - Emily
- bladder - Rachel
- intro - Emily
- historic findings - Emily
- abnormalities - Bahar
- current models - Rachel
- developmental timeline (everyone)
HOW IS EVERYONE GOING WITH THEIR PART???? www.lab.anhb.uwa.edu.au/hsd212/.../KidneyDevelopmentPrint.ppt --> this powerpoint gives a good general intro to renal development btw if anyone wants to see?
umm i guess APA since thats the actual formal type of referencing. or you can just try and structure it the way its auto generated when you type in pubmed links haha. im gonna try and put some more content up about the kidneys in a couple days and a drawing or two. ill get some historic findings done as well.--Z3465654 (talk) 21:16, 23 September 2014 (EST)
hey guys, sorry i havent been putting anything up recently. i moved in to my new place over the weekend but the internet isnt up yet so i havent been able to upload anything. i dont know how much longer until its up, so ill be coming to uni just to use the internet (its where i am now lol). so when did the majority of our content have to be up by? was it friday or sunday? i cant remember. --Z3465654 (talk) 12:48, 1 October 2014 (EST)
i found this really good article. it mainly focuses on the kidneys but there are a couple of lines here and there where it mentions some facts about the rest of the renal system. thought u guys might wanna take a look. i dont know whether full access to the article is normal or whether i only managed it because im using the uni library internet, but if u cant access it just let me know and ill send u the article (i downloaded it haha). --Z3465654 (talk) 14:15, 1 October 2014 (EST) oh i also just found this book, it has A LOT of info about the embryology of the renal system, though half the chapters seem to be focused towards abnormalities and defects of the organs http://books.google.com.au/books?id=IKexq6xCRmIC&pg=PA542&lpg=PA542&dq=rotation+of+fetal+kidney&source=bl&ots=0O-4VfybHS&sig=3VeDlTrB9HnJsdYQLP66IKNGPDU&hl=en&sa=X&ei=1ocrVPuiIoKUoQSyroEQ&ved=0CCoQ6AEwBA#v=onepage&q=rotation%20of%20fetal%20kidney&f=false --Z3465654 (talk) 15:10, 1 October 2014 (EST)
Hey Girls hows the "break" going? :) i was wondering how many abnormalities we should have? 3/4? Also, is it just me or can we not access some of the journals that are free on Pubmed for e.g. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/11458035 ?? --Z3465141 (talk) 19:20, 1 October 2014 (EST)
- Great introduction! Your entire page's contents was introduced well and simple. I'm just wondering if you'd have to include more references to further justify some of the aspects you've mentioned in your explanation of the renal system development
- I noticed the historic findings have been left untouched. This section is in my opinion the trickiest because of the difficulty in finding information out there. My suggestions are to go onto pubmed and use key words like "Renal system development: a historical perspective" and then work from there. You can also adjust years to look at earlier papers from the 1920s and onwards. Also use Mark's historical textbooks on this website as a starting point, it's helpful too to see how ideas in fetal development have changed over the years
- I like how the timeline overview has been simplified. Maybe think of tabulating the findings? You can get the template for doing that off any other group project that has tables by copy and pasting, then just editing in what you need
- I wouldn't add that first like under "Current research models" but if you wanted to do that, maybe think of rewording it. An example could be: "Animal models are ideal to work with when researching renal system development due to their short gestation periods, making the identification of mutations much quicker." Although what you've said about ethics is technically true, the ethics of working with animal models are still lengthy considerations and the fact that our pages are accessed to the public, maybe something like ethics don't need to be mentioned
- Include the years of when the current research findings were discovered. Otherwise, good work on this section. Just proofread over it to fix minor errors
- Great images used throughout
- Maybe think of having some sections more concise rather than wordy by including dot points
Ok i found how to reference without repeating the numbered hyperlink!! it'll have subscripts like 12.0, 12.1 ...blah blah instead of repeating them as 12, 13, 14 whatever every time you use the same reference. So the site is: https://embryology.med.unsw.edu.au/embryology/index.php/Help:Reference_Tutorial. You can just write that short command for every other time you use it and itll work, you done need to write that entire command which is awesome --Z3465654 (talk) 12:34, 15 October 2014 (EST)
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